Ever wonder if you have the ability to heal within you? Believe it or not, the way we talk to ourselves plays a significant role in our mental health, and this week's guest, certified holistic health coach Hilary Russo (https://www.hilaryrusso.com/) is here to guide us on this journey. Hilary equips us with tools to combat stress and pressure in the modern world, teaches us how to improve our interactions with our loved ones, and even shows us how to shut off our brains for a good night's sleep.
Incorporating the tools, Havening & Hug It Out, Hilary takes us on a deep dive into the realm of positive self-talk, introduces us to the concept of self-compassion, and offers us a strategy to tackle our inner bully. We'll also learn about the 'think method' - a tool to keep our self-talk in check. Get ready to be introduced to the idea of a Joy Jar and learn how a quirky phrase like "it ain't nothing but a chicken wing" can completely shift your perspective. Plus, listen in for an inspiring story of one of Hilary's clients who used positive self-talk to conquer fear.
But Hilary doesn't just teach these principles, she lives them. She takes us through her personal journey of finding closure after the loss of her father and how she managed her grief by creating space for positivity. Plus, we'll get a peek into Hilary's world of filmmaking, theater, and podcasting, and we'll learn about her unique monthly event - the Havening Happy Hour. So join us and Hilary Russo for an enriching hour of self-discovery and healing.
About Gurus and Game Changers:
The Gurus and Game Changers Podcast focuses on individuals with unique insights and solutions based on their life experiences.
Listen and you will find:
Inspirational journeys abound when you listen to some of our guests as they describe their personal transformation with unconventional wisdom with real-life stories. Their
empowering narratives and life-changing experiences showcase triumph over adversity, resilience and perseverance.
At Gurus and Game Changers we thrive on authentic storytelling and non-traditional paths to success described with empowering voices. These motivational insights
laden with turning points, lessons learned and a testament to inner growth will lead to your own journey to self-discovery.
These inspirational role models or 'Wild Ducks' as they've been described always come with a positive mindset in describing transformative experiences and evolving perspectives.
#InspirationalStories
#PersonalGrowth
#LifeLessons
#SuccessStories
#MotivationalJourney
#OvercomingAdversity
#EmpoweringNarratives
#SelfDiscovery
#TriumphOverChallenges
#Resilience
#TransformationTuesday
#Empowerment
#Authenticity
#PositiveMindset
#InnerStrength
#GrowthMindset
#InspirationalQuotes
#MotivationMonday
#LifeChangingExperiences
#WisdomWednesday
PLEASE NOTE: **The views expressed by participants, including hosts and guests, are their own and not necessarily endorsed by the podcast. Reference to any specific individual, product, or entity is not an endorsement. The podcast does not provide professional advice, and listeners are urged to consult a physician before making any significant lifestyle or health changes.**
Ever wonder if you have the ability to heal within you? Believe it or not, the way we talk to ourselves plays a significant role in our mental health, and this week's guest, certified holistic health coach Hilary Russo (https://www.hilaryrusso.com/) is here to guide us on this journey. Hilary equips us with tools to combat stress and pressure in the modern world, teaches us how to improve our interactions with our loved ones, and even shows us how to shut off our brains for a good night's sleep.
Incorporating the tools, Havening & Hug It Out, Hilary takes us on a deep dive into the realm of positive self-talk, introduces us to the concept of self-compassion, and offers us a strategy to tackle our inner bully. We'll also learn about the 'think method' - a tool to keep our self-talk in check. Get ready to be introduced to the idea of a Joy Jar and learn how a quirky phrase like "it ain't nothing but a chicken wing" can completely shift your perspective. Plus, listen in for an inspiring story of one of Hilary's clients who used positive self-talk to conquer fear.
But Hilary doesn't just teach these principles, she lives them. She takes us through her personal journey of finding closure after the loss of her father and how she managed her grief by creating space for positivity. Plus, we'll get a peek into Hilary's world of filmmaking, theater, and podcasting, and we'll learn about her unique monthly event - the Havening Happy Hour. So join us and Hilary Russo for an enriching hour of self-discovery and healing.
About Gurus and Game Changers:
The Gurus and Game Changers Podcast focuses on individuals with unique insights and solutions based on their life experiences.
Listen and you will find:
Inspirational journeys abound when you listen to some of our guests as they describe their personal transformation with unconventional wisdom with real-life stories. Their
empowering narratives and life-changing experiences showcase triumph over adversity, resilience and perseverance.
At Gurus and Game Changers we thrive on authentic storytelling and non-traditional paths to success described with empowering voices. These motivational insights
laden with turning points, lessons learned and a testament to inner growth will lead to your own journey to self-discovery.
These inspirational role models or 'Wild Ducks' as they've been described always come with a positive mindset in describing transformative experiences and evolving perspectives.
#InspirationalStories
#PersonalGrowth
#LifeLessons
#SuccessStories
#MotivationalJourney
#OvercomingAdversity
#EmpoweringNarratives
#SelfDiscovery
#TriumphOverChallenges
#Resilience
#TransformationTuesday
#Empowerment
#Authenticity
#PositiveMindset
#InnerStrength
#GrowthMindset
#InspirationalQuotes
#MotivationMonday
#LifeChangingExperiences
#WisdomWednesday
PLEASE NOTE: **The views expressed by participants, including hosts and guests, are their own and not necessarily endorsed by the podcast. Reference to any specific individual, product, or entity is not an endorsement. The podcast does not provide professional advice, and listeners are urged to consult a physician before making any significant lifestyle or health changes.**
00:01 - Mark (Host)
Mark Stacy.
00:03 - Stacey (Host)
How you doing today. I'm good yeah.
00:05 - Mark (Host)
I'm always good. I'm a very positive person.
00:07 - Stacey (Host)
Are you bubbly and sunshiny like our guest?
00:08 - Mark (Host)
I'm not bubbly and sunshiny. I'm just a very positive person. You're bubbly and sunshiny. That's what I love about you.
00:14 - Stacey (Host)
I try to be bubbly and sunshiny most of the time, but I have my dark days. Well, it's hard, yeah.
00:19 - Mark (Host)
It's hard to stay that way, and that's why we invited Hilary Rousseau on our show.
00:25 - Stacey (Host)
Yeah, this was a cool show, because this is our very first live show.
00:29 - Mark (Host)
Yeah.
00:29 - Stacey (Host)
So there's a lot of good energy.
00:30 - Mark (Host)
Yeah, it was cool, it was unique. Yeah, like I felt like we were all on our game. Yeah, yeah, we'll be doing a lot more of those.
00:36 - Stacey (Host)
There's a lot of talking over each other though, yeah, and I think in the beginning, since it was live, I don't know if the sound issues are going to happen or not. We're going to work on it, hopefully not. There's a couple of little sound glitches, yeah. So thank you for your patience, stick with it.
00:50 - Mark (Host)
Yeah, definitely stick with it. There's a lot of good info to Hilary. She is a certified holistic health coach. She has an incredible resume, but she's somebody. I think we say it in the beginning of the podcast. She's somebody we all need right now.
01:03 - Stacey (Host)
We all need what this woman has to say Stress the world. Everything that's happening, it's terrifying. She has some really, really amazing tools.
01:10 - Mark (Host)
She really does.
01:11 - Stacey (Host)
That some people have never heard of before, and then I think you'd also do one of your best introductions. It was another long one Wait a minute, was that a?
01:20 - Mark (Host)
shot.
01:21 - Stacey (Host)
It was another long one, listen, but despite that, I'm in there, though Sometimes I feel like after the intro, that's the podcast and I love it. I just want our audience.
01:31 - Mark (Host)
I want you guys who are listening to really understand the value of the person you're about to hear from. And she's high value for sure, and she's bubbly and she's sunshine and story she tells and she's completely vulnerable, she is able to be completely vulnerable and tell stories that were really difficult for her, which helps all of us.
01:56 - Stacey (Host)
And she tells a story about her dad that I think particularly love.
02:01 - Mark (Host)
Somebody who brings all the answers, but also she has all the problems, just like the rest of us, but she's a great resource, probably one of the most positive people I've ever met, because we actually did another episode with her.
02:15 - Stacey (Host)
We somehow lost all the footage.
02:18 - Mark (Host)
It's just fine. The second conversation was even better, so we're happy about that.
02:24 - Stacey (Host)
But of course we told her and she was like oh, no problem.
02:26 - Mark (Host)
Come back down, no problem, let's do it again. So exciting.
02:27 - Stacey (Host)
This is so cool. This is going to be even better.
02:29 - Mark (Host)
So she's amazing, so you're going to love it, so enjoy Hilary Russo.
02:35 - Stacey (Host)
Hi, I'm Stacy.
02:36 - Mark (Host)
And I am Mark, and this is the Guru's Game Changers Podcast. Welcome, this is awesome. This is awesome. Yeah, welcome, guru. Welcome to the Game Changers. This is a hallmark moment for us Because we were able to partner with Marketlive and, for the first time, we are broadcasting live at Mainline Studios where we normally do the show in Westchester Pennsylvania.
03:00
We are here live. So if you're watching us, you're probably watching us on Marketlive. But you can also jump on our social media channels or their social media channel. And if you are watching, who's watching the chat, george, is that you?
03:11 - Hilary (Guest)
It's me John.
03:12 - Mark (Host)
John's got the chat. If you want to engage us in conversation, we'd love to hear your questions for us or for our guest, the wonderful Hilary Russo. And we are thrilled to have Hilary in studio for a live because we do feel like you need to hear from her today, like we all need to hear what Hilary has to say today. Because what happened? We woke up this morning strange stressed, pressure, anxiety. We all know what's happening in the world. We all know the stresses of living everyday life and the pressures and all of that, and it's hard to deal with. We all deal with it in our own way. But Hilary's dedicated her life. She's got a mission to help people do exactly that right, in her words, to put the ability to heal in their hands.
03:52
Nice work, and to heal. It's not necessarily from trauma, but it is. But it's also how do you turn your brain off so you can sleep better? Does that sound familiar? It's also how do I engage better with my family? Or how do I deal with the jerk that I work with? No, sorry, you just happen to be sitting there, or anything like that. Right, and those are big concepts. That who do you want to have help you?
04:15
How about somebody who's a certified holistic health coach, somebody who's certified in havening techniques? What is havening? I don't know. We're going to talk about it, but there's only a handful of them collectively in the world. We're sitting next to one. She's a hypnotherapist, she's a practitioner of neuro-linguistic programming, college professor, she's an international speaker, she's been on countless live TV shows and featured in magazines, and her resume is super long. But all of this has given her a wonderful perspective and incredible experience and I promise you, if you listen to what she has to say, if you put into place and engage with some of the things that we're going to talk about today, your tomorrow can be instantly better.
04:53 - Stacey (Host)
And that's our podcast.
04:54 - Mark (Host)
That's it and goodnight. So welcome, hilary Russo. Yay, how you doing, welcome, welcome, he's a grand. Thank you, hey. What's new and good? What's new and good? You and I definitely pay attention, that's my line. Why is that your line? Tell us, I know what you're lying.
05:09 - Hilary (Guest)
I'll tell you exactly why. It's my line. I love when I hear people using it, because when you start the day with what's new and good, instead of asking how are you what's up, you're actually engaging and promoting. You're actually telling somebody that you want to hear more from them, rather than what do you usually hear back. When you hear what's up, how are you doing so? One line I'm fine, good, good, everything's well. But when you say what's new and good, you're actually encouraging someone to share more about what is new and what is good in their lives. I won't actually accept the answer of nothing from my students or my clients or really anyone I talk to, because I want them to get in the space of.
05:48 - Mark (Host)
there's always something to be good and new in your life, definitely when it's just start a conversation with them in a good place. Yeah, and getting in a good place what do you think is the quickest way to get in a good place? I mean, that's not easy.
06:00 - Hilary (Guest)
That, remembering the things that you're grateful for, and what better time to do that than the month of November, which is National.
06:06 - Stacey (Host)
Gratitude.
06:07 - Hilary (Guest)
Month yeah, sweet, which should be every day and every month.
06:10 - Mark (Host)
They really should be.
06:12 - Stacey (Host)
I was reading or seeing that you have a gratitude jar. Do you still have that jar? I do. Is it loaded up? Because?
06:18 - Mark (Host)
I was like 2000 times totally stuck. Oh, you don't know these questions.
06:22 - Stacey (Host)
I'm totally stuck in here.
06:23 - Hilary (Guest)
I do I have a joy jar.
06:25 - Stacey (Host)
I call it a joy jar.
06:26 - Hilary (Guest)
Now I'm not gratitude, yeah, and every day, or every week, depending. I would put a note. It could be the simplest thing, and most people don't know where it is. Most people it's my jar and I put something in there and then at the end of the year, the last day of the year, I will read everything that I put in that jar, Every single thing, Because you're promoting gratitude by doing that. You're reminding yourself when things get low, when you are uncertain about something, when the day isn't going as well as expected. When you sit there and you look through that jar whether you're doing it once a week, once a month or even just whenever you can you're reminded of the things you're actually grateful for. Do you have a time of day?
07:02 - Mark (Host)
you do this like every day or like in the first thing in the morning. No, you say start your day with gratitude first thing in the morning.
07:07 - Hilary (Guest)
Well, first thing I do in the morning, and really this is a scientific, this is scientifically proven and this was done. It was a Harvard research reviews study that was done by. You might have heard of this book, which is the Happiness Advantage by Sean Aker If you start your day with two minutes of gratitude before you even put your feet on the floor.
07:25 - Stacey (Host)
What.
07:25 - Mark (Host)
Why are you looking at me? 3-4-2-1, that's what I do. Yeah, that's what you do.
07:30 - Hilary (Guest)
The two minutes before you put your feet on the floor. You start your day with two minutes of gratitude. You have a 27% more likelihood of having a good day six to eight hours later. That compared to those people that grab their phone real quick for three minutes, open the newspaper, run to turn on the television. Start your day with two minutes. That's one minute that you're putting on the table, but it's also 27%.
07:53 - Mark (Host)
That's an incredible number if you think about it. So two minutes of gratitude, start your day.
07:57 - Hilary (Guest)
It doesn't have to be journaling, which is a great thing to do, but it can be anything. It can really be anything that just brings you a sense of joy and happiness. So do the holidays bring us joy and happiness. Because I was just going to ask the family involved Season's upon us.
08:13 - Stacey (Host)
So what are some of the ways that people can feel good around the holidays In any holiday really, If they don't necessarily?
08:20 - Hilary (Guest)
This is kind of the beginning of holiday season is November, right.
08:22 - Mark (Host)
When we think about it.
08:24 - Hilary (Guest)
The things that can bring you joy is just remember that, the simple things like gratitude. And when I ask what's new and good, it doesn't have to be something huge, it can be something as small as I have a warm place to stay. I have friends and family that want me to spend time with them. A lot of times we go to the negative and it's really important for us to reframe the narrative on things right. When you're thinking I have to host this party.
08:47 - Mark (Host)
It's like.
08:48 - Hilary (Guest)
But you have people coming to your party that said yes, or, oh my gosh, that one family member that is going to be there, Okay, then you can make a choice to sit elsewhere, but maybe that one family member just needs somebody to talk to and they're choosing you right. If it's not a positive situation if there's somebody that's crossing boundaries because a lot of times in the holiday season we think about boundaries being crossed when are you getting married?
09:13 - Stacey (Host)
Right, when are you having a baby? Oh my gosh.
09:16 - Hilary (Guest)
Uncle Bob just keeps talking about his maladies. Yes there are the people in our family that are like apologists. Or politics, like religion and politics, we've got two big things that come up right, sometimes personal issues. You can create boundaries for yourself, and I think that's really important. When you create boundaries, you actually are building your own self-empowerment. It doesn't mean you have to say no to everything, but saying yes to yourself can sometimes mean saying no to others. That's important to protect your own emotional well-being.
09:46 - Mark (Host)
I've always thought that being grateful is empowering if you can be great. So you said I have to go to this party versus I get to host a party.
09:53 - Hilary (Guest)
Right.
09:54 - Mark (Host)
So when I had two shoulder surgeries back to back, year after year, and I kept saying to myself, yeah, it's a pain in the neck and yes, it's going to hurt, but I get to have the surgery. There are many people dealing with this and I don't work for a living, you know in color, so I get, I have the opportunity to benefit from having a surgery it really did change my mindset. I actually changed my sons. He's like well, that's a good way to look at that, so I was helpful. I was happy that I was able to help him frame his mindset.
10:18 - Hilary (Guest)
Absolutely. It's totally changing. And imagine those people that and I've been in this position before and I'm sure you have as well there are times you don't have anywhere to go right. Some people are lonely during the holidays. That's another really big thing. So this is a time for self-reflection. Why am I being given this gift of time? What can I do to celebrate time with myself? It does begin within. You know, a big thing that I talk about, especially with my Hug it Out program, which is an acronym for healing, understanding and gratitude, is that if you don't begin with those the self-healing, the understanding of self and the self-gratitude, what I'm grateful for that I bring to my own life and others around me where else can it begin? It doesn't start outside. You know, we always tend to talk about the gratitude that comes from outside of ourselves, but if you're not starting here, what is it all?
11:08 - Stacey (Host)
for. So with the Hug it Out program are you literally hugging people Like what you know? It's interesting, I mean it's just upcoming Look hugs are always a great thing.
11:17 - Hilary (Guest)
It's oxytocin, that's the love hormone, right? That's a big part of my practice as a havening practitioner is that it doesn't include the hugging and self-hugging really to self-soothe, to self-regulate, but that's just a part of it. Like when I use the hug as an acronym. Who doesn't want to hug it out?
11:35 - Mark (Host)
We always think about.
11:36 - Hilary (Guest)
I love it when we think about hugging it out, right. Hugging it out when you're in an upset or kerfuffle with somebody, right. And somebody comes along, they're like oh you know, you guys don't have to get along, but maybe you just hug it out Like, get over it, in a way, is what we're saying. But if you're not making amends with yourself, with your own mind, where does it begin? So you make amends with other people all the time, but we are so hard on ourselves, me included.
12:00 - Stacey (Host)
I'm really hard on myself sometimes. That's the thing I think is self-compassion.
12:04 - Hilary (Guest)
Yes, and the inner bully. The inner bully on the playground is so starting within and I have to check myself constantly because it comes from somewhere else. Like, where is it coming from? Probably my younger part of myself, my inner child. Like I always encourage my clients to get in touch with the younger part of themselves. Like, who's showing up right now? Is it Hillary, at 12 years old, where she felt like she wasn't invited to the lunch table? Is it Hillary? You know, just using an example.
12:33 - Stacey (Host)
Or like no, I was like. I'm sorry.
12:40 - Hilary (Guest)
It's that kind of thing Like getting in touch with, being able to step back and take a moment and being like is this? There's a really awesome thing I learned early, even before I got into the emotional being, a mental health field, is that the think method, like when you start telling yourself stories, you have to ask yourself five things Is it true, is it helpful, is it inspiring, is it necessary and is it kind?
13:04
The think method, and you've probably heard this before, but I say it all the time for myself. Like, think first right, am I talking ill of myself? Am I saying unkind things about myself? We're so careful of how we speak to other people, but if you're not speaking kindly to yourself, you're breaking that first rule of self-gratitude.
13:26 - Stacey (Host)
Totally. You know, and look, we get some comments here. Clem says hi guys love this. Hey, clem and Cassie love the Joy Jar idea, so do I. Oh yeah, hi Cassie. Oh, definitely try it.
13:36 - Hilary (Guest)
And you can do it any time. You can do it once a day, you can do it once a week. If you don't have time, you just do it when you remember. Just keep a little piece of paper, put it somewhere and then make it a family thing too. I encourage people to do it with their tickets. Good idea, you know.
13:49 - Stacey (Host)
Can we go back to young Hillary, young Hillary.
13:52 - Hilary (Guest)
That wasn't invited to the lunch day. Wait, was that true?
13:55 - Stacey (Host)
Like okay, so we joke around about it. But I mean, I know that you struggled with some stuff when you were a kid, sure, so what would you tell your young Hillary self now about those struggles?
14:05 - Hilary (Guest)
That's a really good question. I think at different parts of my life. I have to sit back and think If I were to tell my younger self something right now, it'd be, it's all going to be okay, and you are heard, you are valid, you are loved, right. And just remind yourself that there was a phrase that I learned when I was living in Louisiana. I was still a news anchor down in Louisiana. I remember there was another news anchor there and he'd say it ain't nothing but a chicken wing.
14:37 - Mark (Host)
It means nothing, but it means something. It ain't nothing but a chicken wing.
14:40 - Hilary (Guest)
It doesn't mean anything right, like we put so much emphasis on the little things and I think if I could tell my younger self something, it would be like it's all good, you're okay. You know, because a lot of times we make so many small things so much bigger than they are, you know.
14:56 - Mark (Host)
Everything works out. Everything always works out, and it's not necessarily the outcome you wanted. But guess what? Ten years from now, it's not going to matter.
15:02 - Hilary (Guest)
Absolutely, isn't there. There's a phrase out there. There's a quote. If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.
15:10 - Stacey (Host)
Tell him your plans. Yeah, so true, that's awesome.
15:14 - Mark (Host)
So so let's talk about this positive self-talk.
15:17 - Stacey (Host)
Yeah, I'm a huge proponent of that For myself.
15:20 - Mark (Host)
I try to stress that in my family. Tell us some success stories that you've had helping people reframe how they talk to themselves so that they've been able to achieve. Whatever it is they're trying to achieve.
15:32 - Hilary (Guest)
Yeah, I hear that a lot.
15:35
I think we all struggle with that and I have, I remember, specifically, I have a client who's a Metropolitan Opera Singer for ten years, grammy Award winner, and she was really struggling with with the identity of certain things that she was confronted with as a young child, you know, and fearing things because of an injury that happened to her as a young child and then later that kind of followed along with her to the stage where there were certain points where she didn't feel comfortable on the stage because of something that might have gone awry at some point when she was on the stage singing.
16:11
And I think when you start telling yourself I can't do that again, I'm going to get hurt, you know, rather like reframe it to, I have the skills, I have the ability, I'm very good at what I do, I know how to be cautious and take steps right. That's one thing. So that's, that's a. That was a really powerful thing. And also, you know, having a client once that was really scared to go into the MRI, right, yeah, the fear of that claustrophobic you know, that fear really is very common, you know, and it's very real.
16:44 - Stacey (Host)
Right, it's very real, Like you're in a space. It's kind of claustrophobic, like I have friends, that yeah.
16:48 - Hilary (Guest)
Absolutely and just reminding yourself like I'm here and like doing havening while you're going into it, and just saying I'm safe, I'm with people that know what they're doing, and just be very present like I know I'm here because I have the ability, almost like you were saying, to get the surgery right, to actually have this exam done to help my well-being.
17:09 - Mark (Host)
Yeah.
17:09 - Hilary (Guest)
You know a lot of it's really just reframing.
17:11 - Mark (Host)
Yeah.
17:12 - Hilary (Guest)
That's the beginning of everything, because if you start going up a rabbit hole, yeah, yeah, it's a spiral.
17:18 - Stacey (Host)
Well, it's a spiral, I'll bring you this design to go there.
17:21 - Mark (Host)
Yeah, yeah. So, hayden, it sounds like it's the next level of self-talk.
17:25 - Hilary (Guest)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean you use positive self-talk. It is involved in that. But basically havening is a transitive verb for haven, which means a safe place. Our brain is designed to go to the negative. Our brain does not like uncertainty, so mean.
17:44 - Mark (Host)
Why does it do it?
17:45 - Hilary (Guest)
So, like, what happens is we call her Amy in the world of havening. Amy, the amygdala is going to take you to the fight. Flight freezer fawn right. And the uncertainty that we feel in any situation going into the MRI, taking a test, going to work, auditioning for a play, being in front of the camera for the first time first life driving flying.
18:07
There's so many fears out there that people have getting back into the dating scene, whatever it is. Those fears of uncertainty push us into that state of I'm not doing that. That's unsafe. So Amy is thinking I'm not safe here. Havening that transitive verb haven means a safe place. You're actually changing your thought, moods, behaviors and habits. You are putting your brain in what they call a delta wave state, which is sleep state, because you can't find the calm and the chaos. So when you do havening, which is almost like you are washing your hands, giving yourself a hug or even gently giving yourself a facial- yeah, Mark.
18:44
Right, just do it with us. Come on, mark, do it along. When you think of, like, when you're in a moment where you're feeling a little upset or anxiousness, you can, when you do this, and maybe just count to 10 or count to 20, and think of something that brings you joy. So like if your place is the beach, or if you are love the mountains, or maybe it's your home, and you just find like 20 things within that space that brings you joy, like seashells, calm waters, the sunshine. You are basically changing the brain's neuroplasticity. You're letting Amy know she's safe. You're basically changing everything. You're changing the narrative within your brain. What is the touch?
19:22 - Mark (Host)
doing that the positive self-prop can't accomplish.
19:24 - Hilary (Guest)
So this is what you're doing is you're leveling up. You are actually releasing oxytocin, which is the love hormone, serotonin, dopamine and GABA those are the happy hormones. So when you release all those hormones, you're letting Amy know I'm okay, I'm safe, the worst is over, and then you're putting your brain in what they call the Delta Waste state, like I mentioned, which is your sleep state. When you pair the touch together with a positive distraction, you are rewiring the brain, and it can happen like that.
19:52 - Stacey (Host)
How did you find this? Like I have never heard of this havening until I knew, and now like I'm so intrigued. So how did it happen so?
20:01 - Hilary (Guest)
havening kind of met me in a bar. Oh yeah, so I was already a wholist. Wait, no, seriously, I swear to God, Hillary and Havening walked into a bar.
20:10 - Mark (Host)
That's basically how it happened, okay, yeah.
20:12 - Hilary (Guest)
So I was in New York City and I was at a 50th birthday party for a mutual friend, the young lady who was already the she's an executive within the Havening community. We had a mutual friend who was having her birthday there, and you know what happens when you meet people oh, what do you do for a living? Oh, what do you do for a living? Right? That's basically how it went. I was getting ready to leave and Feliciaana, who is the CEO of the Havening organization, she said well, she asked me what I did. I shared with her I'm a holistic health coach, I'm also a health and wellness journalist and I said what do you do? She goes, can I show you?
20:45 - Mark (Host)
And I was like all right.
20:46 - Hilary (Guest)
Well.
20:48 - Stacey (Host)
Saturday night. Go ahead, put my whiskey over here. Let me just put the drink down, excuse me, and she said may I touch you?
20:54 - Hilary (Guest)
And I said sure, and she just started Havening me because what you can do, havening can also be facilitated by the practitioner. Okay, it can be self applied, which is great, because then you're self regulating yourself. We should know how to self suit ourselves. But she did it to me, on my arms, on my hands, and she just said think of something that just brings you joy, you know, something that makes you happy. This is Havening. And she explained what it was and like, within minutes of me, just like taking myself to that place that brings me joy.
21:21
After bringing up an upset, she said what's been working you? For a while I thought of that and then, within minutes, I was like I'm what's just happened. I don't know whatever you did to me, but I want more. I wound up going to the two day workshop to learn more about it, which was hosted by the co developing doctors, dr Stephen Ron Rudin, who to this day are mentors of mine and I, because I studied with them. I studied with the co founding doctors and I went to this event that they were hosting and I volunteered to be demoed on stage on the grief of my dad. Wow, and I said if this works, then I'm in, and so I got up there in front of like a hundred people that were there getting sort of the initial certification.
22:04
This is a long process. I mean you do your case studies, you, but for the two day introductory workshop I was like, all right, I'll do it. I got up on stage and my dad had been gone I don't know 15, 16 years at that point and Dr Ron Rudin haven me, and after that I never really looked at that passing the same way again. I really struggled with my father's death because he was diabetic. He died of a massive heart attack in Schubert alley in New York City and I always was somebody who came from a place of fear of losing my dad. That was my fear.
22:40 - Stacey (Host)
I totally, that was it, I'm having a sick father.
22:43 - Hilary (Guest)
My whole life I lived with the uncertainty that my father was going to always die, and that day changed everything. Wow, now it's like I have complete closure. I don't get emotional like I used to. It's not that it's getting rid of the loss, because the loss is there. It's allowing me to change the narrative on how I see that my father's past. He lived a long life. I had 61 years with him, or I had 29 years with him, and it's okay, all is well.
23:17 - Stacey (Host)
I was reading about that and listening to your story. Could you tell the story about when you picked up the phone?
23:24 - Hilary (Guest)
If you can. You mean when I was doing the telephone? Yes, that was an episode I did on Hill's, sikkim speaking. That was a powerful one. That was the last time I talked to my dad. I was living in North Carolina at the time and I was doing a telephone because I worked for PBS UNCTV for a number of years and I did a number of different telephones for different television companies that did that. But I was on air that one day doing a telephone and I had a friend that was with me, that was sitting in the studio audience and my phone rang and I was like I'll get it later and my friend's, like your dad's on the phone, I'll call him back. And he was so insistent that I took the call. He's like you've got five minutes of commercial time. I took the call I'm so glad I did, and it was my dad and he was like I'm going to a Broadway show, I'll give you a call later. And the last words I got to say to my father were I love you.
24:19
But, that was the last time I saw my dad or spoke to my dad, because he died of a heart attack that evening. So the the moral of the story is pick up the phone, pick up the phone.
24:32 - Stacey (Host)
You just never know. You never know. Life is short.
24:35 - Hilary (Guest)
Like what is so busy in your life that you have to do and I think about that a lot because sometimes I don't pick up the phone still but the thought is there in my mind what does this call about? Like, oh, I pick up my mom's calls.
24:47 - Stacey (Host)
Like every time I really do. Every time Mark calls me, I kick up. I appreciate that, but you know what I'm saying. That's insane.
24:55 - Hilary (Guest)
You really have to think about those things, because tomorrow's never promised and what is so busy in your life that you can't do that. And for that moment, when I was 20 something years old and didn't, almost didn't pick up that call, to this day, it's like there was something that said do it. And I did. And the last words I got to share with my father, as he did with me, was you know, I love you, I love you, I'll talk to you tomorrow, you know. And then the next call I got was that night. Oh my God.
25:25 - Stacey (Host)
And I say you kept the ticket. Do you still have the ticket? I do. I don't have it with me.
25:28 - Hilary (Guest)
But I do. I have the Broadway ticket that my father had untouched to thoroughly modern Millie, which is one of my favorite Broadway shows that was starring Sutton Foster, and I keep it in my pocket because there's a line in that show. I'll always have a ticket in my pocket to do with as I choose Whoa, that's crazy. And it's the train ticket that she had in the show when she moved to New York City to make it as an actress.
25:55 - Mark (Host)
Yeah, that's wild. I never remember when my father passed. Everybody wants to say, oh, he's in a better place. You know, we hear the same thing, and it's fine, because people don't know what to say.
26:03 - Stacey (Host)
I get that.
26:03 - Mark (Host)
I understand it fully. One person she's actually a host on QVC wonderful woman, mary Beth Row. She said to me you're not going to get over it, don't try, don't listen to what anybody says. All you can do is just make room for it.
26:17 - Stacey (Host)
And I thought that was just such a wonderful way to change my perspective, that moment, like I can deal with the grief, that's fine.
26:23 - Mark (Host)
You just have to make room for it and go home with life.
26:25 - Hilary (Guest)
Create the space. Create the space when you create the space for the positive. It allows more space for the positive to come in. When you fill it with the next negative, you're mucking things up. The other thing that's a really beautiful way to share. When I have people that tell me that they've lost someone, of course we want to say we're sorry, right, but what are we sorry for? We're sorry for your loss. Encourage them to tell a story.
26:47 - Stacey (Host)
Oh my gosh, yeah, that's the best.
26:49 - Hilary (Guest)
Yeah, you just. I love when people are like I know your father through you, or I loved when your dad did this. So when people lose somebody, I'm always like tell me, tell me something really awesome about him.
27:01 - Stacey (Host)
You want to just talk about them incessantly, right?
27:03 - Hilary (Guest)
Because that one of my favorite movies that really reminds me of my dad was Big Fish. Remember Did?
27:09 - Stacey (Host)
you ever see.
27:09 - Hilary (Guest)
Big.
27:09 - Mark (Host)
Fish yeah, howard Finney yeah.
27:13 - Hilary (Guest)
And the whole story of that movie is that it's the son not wanting to hear his dad's stories Stories, Because they weren't real. But how boring would they have been to just be the son of a salesman, right. So he made everything glorified and embellished to make the stories interesting to a child, right, and his son took that with him into adulthood. But the line in that movie that really sticks with you, the tagline is a man tells so many stories in his life that he becomes his stories and then that way he becomes immortal. So the whole idea is to continue telling those stories to the people that are no longer here.
27:44 - Stacey (Host)
That is the best advice. Yeah, because I know when I was seven, my dad died and somebody came and said oh Wally, he was awesome, like he would do this, like he was a whirling dervish or whatever. That gave me something to think about, other than the fact that he wasn't there anymore.
27:55 - Hilary (Guest)
Right, and they're stories and then they are constantly at the table and I think that's what I thought about when I first learned havening. When I have them, I still talk to my dad all the time and I'll sit there and I sit in the silence and I haven, and I think of a really beautiful moment with him, or just a beautiful moment of my own, and I just imagine I ask the questions and when you sit in silence, the answers come.
28:20
Like when you sit in silence and let your brain just be calm in the moment and bring it down, and that it helps with the havening. The answers do come, because you cannot find the calm and the chaos. It's impossible, you know. So you've got to bring it down, yeah, hey guys, thanks for listening.
28:38 - Mark (Host)
If you like what you're hearing, please leave us a review, give us a follow, subscribe, all those things. All those things. We love it because we read each and every comment and it helped shape the show, so we would appreciate it.
28:50 - Stacey (Host)
Please, and back to the show.
28:53 - Mark (Host)
So you have said many times on your website and your podcast. It's really important to be kind to your mind. It's not as much of a polling card as you know it's knowing good, but it's something that you're a big proponent of.
29:08 - Hilary (Guest)
What does?
29:08 - Mark (Host)
that mean being kind to your mind.
29:09 - Hilary (Guest)
I think that also goes back to the positive self-talk. I think it also goes back to are you believing everything that you're saying to yourself? Right, the think method. And it's also you know we have this gut-brain response. You know we have two brains. Basically, you know you have your microbiome, which is what I deal with with holistic, innovative nutrition, health, and then you have this brain. That is, they're working together. So you really need to be kind to your mind in as much as possible. Look, we're human. We're going to have negative thoughts. The real thing is, how long do you want to stay there? It's really about how long do you want to take residency in that negative space? So you just tell yourself.
29:47 - Stacey (Host)
Okay, stop thinking that.
29:48 - Hilary (Guest)
Because aren't you?
29:49 - Stacey (Host)
supposed to feel your feelings too. You have to feel your feelings Because then it's like that's the thing I juggle with, like I don't want to think about it, like I don't want the negative thoughts, but I'm supposed to feel my feelings Feel your feelings.
29:59 - Hilary (Guest)
Where is this coming from? Like, what place in my life is this coming from? Like, how old is Stacey when she's showing up and thinking this right? All right, let me stop for a second. Who's showing up right now? Am I telling myself the truth? You know, am I really being kind to myself? Go through the think method. Sit there and just instantly think of something that brings you joy, and then just think of something that brings you joy and makes you happy and suddenly things do tend to change. But the behind your mind thing is that you know it's really the overall right, it's everything, it's being present with the fact that you're human and you have a right to feel Because, like the generations before us, the silent generation before that get over it.
30:44 - Stacey (Host)
That's the last calm down. My dad used to say rub some dirt on it, Right or the calm down thing like never in the history of the words calm down has anybody calm down.
30:53 - Hilary (Guest)
I love it.
30:54 - Mark (Host)
That is true.
30:55 - Hilary (Guest)
Do not tell somebody to calm down, just let yourself feel in a moat and for the moment be in present with that and then be like, okay, how long do I want to stay here? And then you know again. It goes back to asking yourself questions and the really thing, the really powerful thing. I remember learning from Dr Wayne Dyer, who's like my spiritual daddy- Did you meet him in person?
31:18 - Stacey (Host)
No, don't get me started on that story, because my brother knows him or knew him.
31:22 - Mark (Host)
I was like oh. And that was always the thing I wanted. I wanted to always meet him. What's that? A little sibling rivalry, right?
31:30 - Hilary (Guest)
But I feel like I do know him, Like I feel like he's around me.
31:33
He's definitely that spiritual guru, that person that I find such a just a real alignment with. But he always said that before you go to bed at night just like when you wake up with two minutes of gratitude in the morning before you go to bed at night, think of something that brings you joy and happiness and something you want to think about. Do a little havening, right, Like in that moment, because your brain's going to go into subconscious, and when you're in subconscious mind, which havening takes you into as well when you're in subconscious mind, your brain is constantly thinking of ways to bring solutions to the questions you're asking. Answers to the questions you're asking, right. But if you go in there like, you turn off the TV after the news, your brain's going to start thinking about that. Right, you want to go into that moment, thinking about things as you settle down. What questions do you want answered? Because then the subconscious starts looking for solutions and answers rather than the devastation, the upset, Having anxiety around it yes.
32:31
Right, you want to settle, because when you wake up in the morning that's cool that subconscious is going to step in and be there to befriend you.
32:42 - Stacey (Host)
That's so cool. I'm going to try that tonight, but I do want to kind of you know I love the origin story.
32:47 - Mark (Host)
Yeah, yeah.
32:48 - Stacey (Host)
And I want to find. Yeah, I really want to find out. So how did young Hillary make the trajectory to end up here today?
32:54 - Hilary (Guest)
Yeah Well, Mark knows part of that story. He's been around. I didn't know young Hillary, Because I know you know I have your.
32:59 - Mark (Host)
IMDb information here that I'm ready to lay, okay, so you want to come clean or are we going to come clean for you?
33:05 - Hilary (Guest)
How far back do you want to go? How much time do we have and what stories should I go to? How are you made? How about?
33:11 - Stacey (Host)
that Well I encouraged you to be who you were? Was that at the Weight Watched Camp? It was Weight Watched Camp, it was probably part of it, we're going to get to that.
33:19 - Hilary (Guest)
So for me, I think, as a child I always felt like I was the kid that always befriended, the kid that wasn't popular.
33:27
I remember being that person that you know I grew up in a very affluent. I'm very fortunate I grew up in an affluent area. I wanted for nothing but I always worked for a living, like I was the stable girl at the horse stables tables. I worked, you know. I did what I could to be independent, right? But I also was like that person that when a new kid moved to town, that was usually oh, that's the kid that would sit at the unpopular table. I'd be like I'd want to go over and like see how they're doing, you know. Or I was always the friend that was the therapist of all the friends right.
34:03 - Mark (Host)
I always thought I'd be a therapist.
34:05 - Hilary (Guest)
So, like that part of me, and I think growing up with a father who was really dealing with a medical issue, my entire life really brought on that sense of compassion and empathy, because I witnessed a father who was an amputee, who was always in the hospital. I did my homework in waiting rooms at hospitals, you know, and my mom was the philanthropist, so I was always around children's hospitals and nonprofit organizations. I grew up with a sense of philanthropy and I grew up with a sense of empathy and compassion and I think that really was a big part of my upbringing that I'm so grateful for, with both my parents, you know, and just the surroundings, the people that they surrounded themselves with. And as I got older, you know, I was in performing arts. That was a big part of my life and when I went to college, at SMU in Dallas, I actually went into television instead and I just decided that I really kind of like this whole, like being the bearer of news, you know, but it's not always positive news right.
35:04
So that was how I got into being in television work and doing, you know, on camera and working, like back in that day it was like there was ABC, cbs, nbc, maybe Fox, that was it. There was no like online, anything like that, you know. And I worked my way up from small market to bigger markets and then 9-11 happened, right, and I was on air that day.
35:30 - Stacey (Host)
Wasn't your dad supposed to be working that? Yeah, wow, you've done your research.
35:35 - Hilary (Guest)
Yes, my father was a was a criminal defense attorney in Manhattan and he had a deposition planned for 9-11 at 9am and I got a call right after the first plane hit as I was getting ready for work. I was still living in Louisiana at the time. I was a morning news anchor and my dad's like where are you? Well, I'm like, well, I'm trying to get to work, but you're on the phone. I picked up the phone though.
36:02
Yeah, and he said you need to get to work right now. And he said but turn on the TV. And I turned on the TV and I saw the smoke. I had no idea what was going on. He didn't tell me yet and he's like you gotta get to work right now. Yeah, and I got to work. I got there in time to see the second plane hit, standing there in front of the news feeds, and there are things I imagine have not even been released yet that probably I saw because we saw it real time. You know there was. I don't even know if there was a seven second delay, I'm not really sure, but there are things in my head that brings to mind the whole reason why I've gotten so deeply involved in secondary traumatic stress and secondary trauma and wanting to help people through that, because that's really the kind of stress that anybody deals with, that they're experiencing, that somebody else is experiencing first hand.
36:52
We weren't at 9-11. We weren't at the Twin Towers, we weren't even in New York any of us, right but we watched it and we saw the devastation and we took it in. And it doesn't have to be something as big as 9-11. But my dad was supposed to be in the North Tower that day at 9am and I found that out after, right.
37:11
I don't know how it would have been if I knew that before and hadn't talked to him. But coming from New York, my entire family was there, not knowing where anyone was, and I had to go on air that day all day long not knowing what was going on, and I didn't have the tools. Back then. I didn't know how to deal with that. I didn't even know what secondary traumatic stress was. So I think that kind of propelled me into it somewhat. And then going through some ups and downs in my own personal life and journeys and realizing that I want to take really good care of myself, I did go to Weight.
37:42 - Mark (Host)
Watchers Camp.
37:43 - Hilary (Guest)
Fat Campus, we called it, we did. There was a show there was a reality show called Fat Camp. That was actually shot at my camp in Pennsylvania that I went to, but Deb said Russo.
37:54 - Stacey (Host)
I'm so happy that your father's been such a positive influence in your life.
37:58 - Hilary (Guest)
Well, Mom, you have too. That's totally my mom.
38:00 - Stacey (Host)
Is that your name? Deb Russo is all over the world oh that's my mom, deb Russo, and then Thomas.
38:04 - Mark (Host)
I thought she was calling you Russo.
38:06 - Stacey (Host)
Yeah, I would be too Russo. Hi, deb, hi, mom, hi.
38:10 - Hilary (Guest)
Deb, that's Mama Bev.
38:11 - Stacey (Host)
Your daughter is awesome and then Thomas says lots of great advice. You're welcome, tom.
38:15 - Hilary (Guest)
Thank you, Mom. My mom's also been a wonderful influence as well. She's my love for her, that's awesome.
38:21
Everybody loves Mama Bev. But all of that is so much part of who I've become because I realize at some point I think getting into holistic health happened for me when I was on a show called Daily Burn 365. It was a live streaming fitness show, first ever, first ever Emmy nominated and I was cast to be on the show. I was a backup host for the show as well and it was basically like a fitness show but we were just shooting the shows.
38:50
Now there's so many of these live streaming shows right for fitness, but it was kind of like the Daily, the Today's show of fitness and we had an element where there was a community and a chat and there were health coaches and something. I just felt such a pull because I was engaged with so many of the community members who got to know who I was on the show that I'm like I like this whole health coaching thing, like people are coming to me and asking me questions because they feel like they know me and that kind of propelled me into wanting to go into holistic health coaching, learn more about how this body can heal itself holistically, holistically speaking, and I got certified in that. And then I met my friend Feliciana at the bar that learned about haven.
39:36 - Mark (Host)
Then I learned about haven and now, so it all just kind of trickled Like every like.
39:39 - Hilary (Guest)
life's a falling into as I always say I'm not planning anything, because when you plan haha, god bless, I'm just letting things happen organically. It just seems so much more delightful that way Can we talk about blood kills?
39:57 - Stacey (Host)
I'll never remember that movie.
40:00 - Mark (Host)
I'm sorry and by the way it's blood kisses.
40:02 - Hilary (Guest)
Oh sorry, blood kisses.
40:04 - Stacey (Host)
The movie was blood kisses.
40:06 - Mark (Host)
It's about vampires. So you do remember that movie, what you said. I remember the title of the movie. She remembers it Were you a victim in blood kisses.
40:12 - Hilary (Guest)
I told her I was like probably corpse number six, I don't know. I always thought if I moved to New York, the one show I would do, because every actor does it is law and order. I never did law and order. And I always thought if I got on the show I probably would be like girl on corpse thing, you know.
40:27 - Mark (Host)
Hey, you were the corpse. You're very good. You're typecast as a corpse.
40:31 - Hilary (Guest)
Yes, so purely I could stay still really well, I could see you breathing.
40:36 - Stacey (Host)
I could see you breathing. Stop breathing.
40:39 - Hilary (Guest)
So IMDb is what you're looking at.
40:41 - Stacey (Host)
The internet movie database.
40:42 - Hilary (Guest)
So I created that years ago and I haven't touched it till recently because I'm having the podcast. They say to put your podcast on there. So I'm starting to put it, holistically speaking, on there. But I lived in North Carolina, which at the time was number three in filmmaking in the country. It was called Willmington.
41:01 - Mark (Host)
North.
41:01 - Hilary (Guest)
Carolina, it was Willmington, it was the Hollywood of the East. I mean, so much stuff was shot there. I mean I did like One Tree Hill, dawson's Creek, Surface, all those shows, right Army wives, all those shows that were shot there.
41:14 - Mark (Host)
And then I did a lot of independent films like you know, the well-known never-known Will any idea what you're talking about?
41:20 - Stacey (Host)
Will to Power. Will to Power was a good movie. You were. Wesley was a great movie.
41:25 - Hilary (Guest)
Yeah, Megan McGee, right. And then I did a really good movie that was about John Wesley, who created the Wesleyan Church, called what was that movie called?
41:35 - Stacey (Host)
Is it on there? No, it's on there. Oh, I know it's.
41:37 - Hilary (Guest)
I think it was just called Wesley. Okay, yeah, wesley was actually a decent film and I got to play Mary Musgrove, who was she was she's well, she's long dead.
41:48 - Mark (Host)
So, John Wesley, she was like when you were playing, you were playing Mary Musgrove, no, she was alive.
41:54 - Hilary (Guest)
She was alive and well. She actually talked Knitting. You talked in that role. Right, I did and I actually had to create the accent because she was part cheek Indian. No, I don't really come on. I don't know how to do that. Sorry, it's a rocketry.
42:10 - Mark (Host)
Oh true, no, I don't know.
42:12 - Hilary (Guest)
So I actually have had the. I find this really. I'm very grateful for this. One role that I actually created, that was created for me was a tour I did for two years where I played Sacagawea. Oh cool, oh that's cool. The role was created for me and I toured education.
42:31
It was an educational tour for students and I got to play the role and it was, and so Sacagawea or Sacagawea actually is how you would say it We've butchered it in the American language. Sacagawea and Mary Musgrove were very similar. They were Native American women that were like the catalyst or liaison between the British or American person that they had to. They were kind of Americanized in a way. You know.
43:01 - Stacey (Host)
Wow, yeah so, but you didn't want to stay in that film. You weren't like in the film industry. No, you know, it wasn't your gig, it wasn't your bag.
43:08 - Hilary (Guest)
I enjoyed doing filmmaking. I really loved doing live theater. In fact, I miss live theater. I'd say I will. I know at some point I will. I don't know if I would do it as a profession, but for a number of years when I was doing professional theater, I loved it. I worked with unbelievable talent. You know, probably my favorite was working with Lou Diamond Phillips and the King and I, wow, that was fun, that's awesome and he was the king also on Broadway.
43:33
He was Tony nominated for that role and Paul Cervino was fun Wow.
43:37 - Stacey (Host)
I did Fiddler on the Roof with Paul. I love that yeah.
43:41 - Mark (Host)
Okay.
43:41 - Stacey (Host)
I have another question. I mean, where are we going to run that time, since we're live? But okay, you talk about your words of the year, right? So, like I saw that one thing where it was 2019, focus and Thrive, focus and Thrive, 2020, create and Connect, which we couldn't really connect, so that's one of those words. Yeah, right, so you come up with these words January.
44:02 - Hilary (Guest)
You can connect though.
44:03 - Stacey (Host)
We connected, we just it was a different way.
44:05 - Hilary (Guest)
My big thing back then was like they were always talking about social distancing. I was like you don't have to. Socially distancing does not mean social disconnecting. Oh that's what.
44:16 - Stacey (Host)
I kept saying that year. I like that. Why do you come up with these words and like what was 2023 and what's 2024 going to be?
44:23 - Hilary (Guest)
You know I'm still undecided on this next year, but 2023 was Amplify.
44:28 - Mark (Host)
Just one word how so?
44:30 - Hilary (Guest)
I felt, like I've always said this and I've been quoted numerous times saying this that my voice and connection are my superpowers and having a podcast to me I find a responsibility. It's a responsibility, yeah, as you both know, and knowing the work that I do in emotional well-being and mental health, I see it as a responsibility and I'm using my voice and my connection to amplify the message, because the podcast isn't about me. The work that I do is never about me. It's about what can I do to amplify the message of better health, better living, holistic, holistic living and really being your best self. So, to me, this year is about amplifying. Next year I have some ideas, but I usually release that.
45:18 - Stacey (Host)
Oh, you release that and tell it to get back to you in January. So what do you think about next year, though, if you don't know your words, like what's going to be happening, like what's in the future for you? I?
45:28 - Hilary (Guest)
feel there's a lot of positive people around me. I have wonderful people in my life.
45:35 - Stacey (Host)
you know One of which is sitting in You're representing anyone in particular. There he is.
45:39 - Hilary (Guest)
My delightful boyfriend that's sitting over here.
45:42 - Stacey (Host)
There he is. Studio audience of one, chris, I've got to ask you about the Weebles mantra your mother would like us to. Oh the Weebles.
45:48 - Hilary (Guest)
Oh, my mom.
45:50 - Stacey (Host)
My mom is like my producer over there. I have wonderful family we run out of questions for you.
45:55 - Hilary (Guest)
What is mom saying? She's in children. Mom wants to ask you about the Weebles mantra she installed in you.
46:01
Yes, this is a good one. Thank you, mom of Bev. But to go back really quickly to what you're saying, I think going forward it's just letting go and releasing, so rendering to your plan. I really realize that is the moment. I realize two things, and Chris will agree with me on this. One is that if you want something to happen in your life and you make a list of that which you want to happen, you need to be the list first. Be the list, make the list, be the list. You can't ask for things outside of yourself and not actually have them within.
46:32 - Stacey (Host)
We're human beings, not human doings.
46:34 - Hilary (Guest)
Thank you, gosh, you gave attention, I did not make that up.
46:39
We are human beings before we're human doings. But if we're asking for things outside of ourselves and we're not being the list, then we're asking for something to actually be that for us Right, so that's a big thing. And then really we make these plans all the time. We get worked up. This isn't working out If you are not.
46:59
The most important thing and I'm not the only one that says this and talks about this it is really about releasing. It's about letting go. It is about being present. It's about trusting that things do work out. When we hold on to something so tight, it doesn't do anything to make it happen any faster. When we worry about things and my mom will be the first one to say this, because my dad used to call me a worry-worry when we worry about the unknown, the uncertainty, it doesn't make it happen for you faster. So just be present with what you're feeling, what you're emoting, and realize that if I let go, if I surrender to my plans, if I'm just present and just put out there what, that which I want or desire, and just let it be known, see what comes back to you. When you do that, the Weevil's story is don't ever forget that you can get back up if you fall down.
47:49 - Stacey (Host)
Because, if you remember, I have a bunch of Weevils.
47:51 - Hilary (Guest)
I have some antique ones my mom gave me. I have my original one and the whole idea of the Weevils is Weevils wobble, but they don't fall down, so when you're teetering you're always going to get back up, and that's something that my mom taught me. And we all have Weevils my brother, myself, all the grandkids, great grandkids.
48:13 - Mark (Host)
I love how involved your mom is.
48:18 - Hilary (Guest)
I tell her I'm going to be on camera. My mom has never missed a show, a theater show. She made that promise and I think she would have done it before, before my dad even passed. She said I won't miss any. That's awesome. You know she comes to my Havening Happy Hour.
48:32 - Stacey (Host)
Let's talk about your Havening Happy Hour, because I want to make sure we get out all the things that you have to get out before we have to end the show.
48:38 - Hilary (Guest)
So I have a monthly experience that I offer people for free called the Havening Happy Hour, and this is my way of making people aware of what Havening is letting you know what it is, asking questions but also going through a guided experience doing self-havening. It's virtual, so anyone in the world can join, and I've changed the times a couple of times because I'll have people across the pond. Last week, New Zealand a month before, London all over. I have people all over the place, so I'm trying to find that perfect sweet spot time or I'll switch it from a noon to a 7 pm Eastern time.
49:13 - Stacey (Host)
How can they sign?
49:16 - Hilary (Guest)
up. I haven't arranged my next one yet because we just did one last week and we're jumping in the holidays, so I want to make sure the best thing to always do is just sign up for my newsletter, because it goes out in my newsletter. The newsletter is hillaryrusocom slash thrive hive, because you're part of my thrive hive and when you sign up for that you'll get all the information on when I'm speaking, when I have workshops, when my Havening Happy Hours are the next podcast guest which we just released one today on National Gratitude Month, and basically it just gives you a way to learn a little bit about Havening and just be kind to your mind. And it's my gift that I did all through the pandemic. I did it every week for the first six months to give people tools to self-soothe, for self-regulation, and I just decided to bring it back. It's an hour of my time. We do games, brain games, we have fun, we sing, we do music, we do movement and we do mindfulness and that together just makes a really fun experience. It's awesome.
50:18 - Stacey (Host)
What else is going on? What else do you want to?
50:21 - Hilary (Guest)
What's coming up? Where are we?
50:23 - Mark (Host)
November.
50:25 - Hilary (Guest)
Well, I'm speaking at the upcoming podcast.
50:29 - Mark (Host)
Expo January.
50:31 - Hilary (Guest)
And I've got a couple other conferences that I'm still nailing down that I'll be speaking, speaking up because the big thing for me is really the secondary traumatic stress and secondary trauma, how you can really be kind to your mind, the brain candy as I call it. So the best thing to always do is just sign up and sign up for my newsletter, because it's fun I have fun with my newsletter. I'm working on my book. Oh, that's right. That's the other thing, yeah not done by the show.
50:55 - Mark (Host)
What can people expect if they sign up for your podcast? They tune into your podcast.
50:58 - Hilary (Guest)
So absolutely Thank you for asking me. That so, holistically speaking, is inspiring stories of trauma to triumph through health, healing and humor, and I have guests from varied expertise that come on my show. You know people that you would recognize in holistic health like the damn butters of the world to. You know the doctors that are so well known in holistic health to everyday people that are sharing their stories of trauma to triumph. The whole idea is to let you know that you're not alone in the battle, even if your battle is different, and what people are doing in their everyday life to turn that mess into their message.
51:32 - Stacey (Host)
And I've been really fortunate.
51:33 - Hilary (Guest)
We say that again. What people are doing? They turn their mess into their message, Into your message.
51:38 - Stacey (Host)
Yeah, we all have a story right.
51:41 - Hilary (Guest)
Yeah, and that's the most beautiful thing that I could possibly give back is giving the space for somebody to amplify their message. I've been I hate the word interview, but I've been interviewing people for over 30 years as a journalist, right, and then I got into this health and wellness space. So I'm still a health and wellness but I've got the private practice, but I still have the journalism in me and I can't let go of that. And being able to do this podcast as a gift and you know it's giving me 135 episodes in now it's amazing.
52:12
Yeah, three years. We're top 2% globally and it's really just. And we're doing the YouTube as well, because that's now part right. Yeah, sure, but we're on all podcast platforms and it's just a way that I feel like every podcast guest is a masterclass in my mind, like I learn from every person.
52:32 - Stacey (Host)
I love it too, like every single time. It's a lot of work. It's such a passion. I love every second of it. We always talk about it. It's a passion and the purpose it's a passion and the purpose.
52:42 - Mark (Host)
Personally, you want to deliver something that other people will benefit from, and not just tell stories.
52:47 - Hilary (Guest)
And I will say this. The one thing that I do have coming up is that I have a podcast episode that's completely dedicated to listeners. So today I just released the podcast with my guest, Teddy Drosseros, who created this thing called Grateful Peoples. It's journals that he's putting in classrooms, so kids do gratitude journals. But in two weeks I'm releasing an episode where it's all listeners sharing their gratitude moments Wow, and all you have to do is go to speakpipecom you can go to my podcast to find out about it if you want and share your story and I will put you on the podcast and then you'll be entered for the giveaway for one of the Grateful People journals.
53:24 - Stacey (Host)
And we'll be putting all of this stuff into the show. I know it's a lot, so don't think you've got to be taking notes.
53:29 - Hilary (Guest)
It's a lot.
53:30 - Stacey (Host)
Thank you, Clem, for watching and talking to us.
53:32 - Hilary (Guest)
Yay.
53:32 - Stacey (Host)
Clem.
53:33 - Mark (Host)
Thank you.
53:33 - Stacey (Host)
Hillary for everything.
53:34 - Mark (Host)
It's been amazing, I could talk to you all night.
53:36 - Stacey (Host)
But we have to go, we do. Thank you guys. Thank you for our first live show Guru's and Game Changers.
53:41 - Mark (Host)
Thank you George, thank you John, see you next week. Thank you Eric.
53:44 - Stacey (Host)
Thank you, george. Thanks George, eric, chris, everybody, you're still here, you're still listening. Thanks for listening to the Guru's and Game Changers podcast While you're here. If you enjoyed it, please take a minute to rate this episode and leave us a quick review. We want to know what you thought of the show and what you took from it and how it might have helped you. We read and appreciate every comment. Thanks, see you next week.