Gurus & Game Changers

Why Positivity Leads to Success | Ep 020

Stacey Grant

Join us for a captivating conversation with Niyc Pidgeon, a leading figure in positive psychology, who shares her insights on cultivating happiness and overcoming life's challenges. Listen in as we uncover the essence of her book, Now Is Your Chance, A Practical 30-Day Guide brimming with exercises designed to guide you toward a happier existence. Niyc's personal journey, marked by resilience against bullying and inspired by the influence of a sports psychologist, unfolds throughout our discussion, providing powerful anecdotes that underscore the role of positive psychology in fostering a fulfilling life.

Gratitude takes center stage as Niyc and I explore its dynamic role in personal growth and happiness. Tune in to learn about the concept of a gratitude rampage and how acknowledging the good in our lives can lead to immediate joy. We also tackle the common struggle of self-doubt and the transformative shift that comes from focusing on our strengths. From the heartwarming advice of a father to the profound impact of belief and positive reinforcement, this episode is packed with strategies to nurture a positive mindset and build resilience for the future.

Hear about the harrowing experiences that tested Niyc's fortitude, from battling undiagnosed mold poisoning to overcoming a serious eye infection, and discover how these challenges have shaped her approach to health advocacy and personal development. The conversation also delves into the importance of morning routines and building grit, as well as the power of positive psychology to not only transform oneself but also to inspire those around us. Whether you're looking for kick-ass confidence in business or strategies to advocate for your health, this episode is a treasure trove of wisdom and practical tips to help you thrive.

About Gurus and Game Changers: 

The Gurus and Game Changers Podcast  focuses on individuals with unique insights and solutions based on their life experiences. 
Listen and you will find:

  1. Life insights
  2. Overcoming obstacles
  3. Unconventional success
  4. Personal growth stories
  5. Unique life journeys
  6. Self-discovery
  7. Inspirational life lessons
  8. Authentic success
  9. Niche expertise
  10. Non-traditional success stories

Inspirational journeys abound when you listen to some of our guests as they describe their personal transformation with unconventional wisdom with real-life stories. Their
empowering narratives and life-changing experiences showcase triumph over adversity, resilience and perseverance.

At Gurus and Game Changers we thrive on authentic storytelling and non-traditional paths to success described with empowering voices. These motivational insights
laden with turning points, lessons learned and a testament to inner growth will lead to your own journey to self-discovery.

These inspirational role models or 'Wild Ducks' as they've been described always come with a positive mindset in describing transformative experiences and evolving perspectives.


#InspirationalStories
#PersonalGrowth
#LifeLessons
#SuccessStories
#MotivationalJourney
#OvercomingAdversity
#EmpoweringNarratives
#SelfDiscovery
#TriumphOverChallenges
#Resilience
#TransformationTuesday
#Empowerment
#Authenticity
#PositiveMindset
#InnerStrength
#GrowthMindset
#InspirationalQuotes
#MotivationMonday
#LifeChangingExperiences
#WisdomWednesday


PLEASE NOTE: **The views expressed by participants, including hosts and guests, are their own and not necessarily endorsed by the podcast. Reference to any specific individual, product, or entity is not an endorsement. The podcast does not provide professional advice, and listeners are urged to consult a physician before making any significant lifestyle or health changes.**

00:02 - Mark (Host)
Stacey. 

00:03 - Stacey (Host)
Mr Mock. 

00:04 - Mark (Host)
How you doing. 

00:04 - Stacey (Host)
Good, how are you? 

00:05 - Mark (Host)
Good, you're pretty happy. 

00:06 - Stacey (Host)
Yeah, I'm happy today. 

00:07 - Mark (Host)
Yeah, today. You wake up happy every day, don't you? 

00:09 - Stacey (Host)
I don't wake up happy every day. 

00:10 - Mark (Host)
No, I gotta be on. I gotta ask, eric, I really don't. 

00:13 - Stacey (Host)
I really don't, but today I did and most days I do. 

00:15 - Niyc (Guest)
Yeah. 

00:16 - Stacey (Host)
Yeah, everyone has their days right, it's true. 

00:18 - Mark (Host)
Yeah, yeah, I got it, but you're generally happy, you normally happy, and I'm generally happy yeah we're happy you were sick this weekend. 

00:26 - Stacey (Host)
I know you weren't happy. 

00:26 - Mark (Host)
I didn't know I was not happy, you weren't happy, I wasn't happy, but that's what today's guest, nick Pigeon, is all about Positive psychology to make yourself happy. She actually has a book that is called Now Is your Chance, and it's a 30 Day Guide to Living your Happiest Life, and she lays it out. 

00:44 - Stacey (Host)
Yeah, I read it. It's really cool. It's a really good book and, like, what's cool about it is she gives you exercises in the book to get you to a happier place, so you get to do that. Then you have a little homework and you're like you know, and it really works. So I read it actually as much as I could before we had our interview but I was a little nervous about interviewing her because I'm in the positive psychology field. At least I got a certificate in it. 

01:03 - Mark (Host)
Yeah, yeah. 

01:04 - Stacey (Host)
Can't say I'm really in it and she's a guru. She is a guru in that Just a pinnacle. 

01:08 - Mark (Host)
Yeah yeah, she was voted the most outstanding positive psychologist in all of the United Kingdom and she has all sorts of other accolades and credentials, and she's got an English accent which is so sexy, and she's beautiful, beautiful to look at. 

01:20 - Stacey (Host)
So check this out on YouTube and she's just she kind of glows, she has like an aura about her, yeah, like a vibe like a positive vibe Basically right. She has a positive vibe. 

01:29 - Speaker 4 (Host)
She does, and that's what she's trying to help everyone else get. Yeah. 

01:33 - Mark (Host)
And you know, as positive as you are, as positive as I am, we learned and felt like there's more out there for us to go after. 

01:41 - Stacey (Host)
But also her stories. Her story Like this is what I love about this podcast is the stories of people right, you know, delving into their lives, their origin stories, and she had, like she almost, you know, didn't continue her life because of bullies when she was young, when she was young. Yeah, and then her pro athlete boyfriend introduced her to positive psychology because his coach gave him ideas that she thought were intriguing. Or was it her? 

02:06 - Mark (Host)
He went to a sports psychologist. 

02:08 - Stacey (Host)
Sorry his sports psychologist gave him ideas. He told her the ideas and the next thing you know, she's now a guru in positive psychology. 

02:17 - Mark (Host)
Yeah, and internationally known. Yeah, and we talk about everything in here, from grit to gratitude to morning routines, and she's got a blueprint plan for little things Like, like you said, stay still. You can just focus on every day and every day, make incremental steps to be more positive and have a better life. 

02:34 - Stacey (Host)
Yeah, and you get to hear a story about how she had this random eye infection. 

02:37 - Mark (Host)
Yeah, she almost went blind she got a murderous call from her doctor, and that's just one of the stories. It's incredible. 

02:42 - Stacey (Host)
It's nuts. It's really good. It's really good. It was a live episode, so some of the sound is in completely synced beautifully Right. But I think it's still really resonates. So I mean I think you really all should listen to this and watch it on YouTube. Yeah and share it, because this is one that can help the people around you and like and subscribe, please, and give us some props and tell us what you don't like. We all listen to everything. 

03:01 - Mark (Host)
I would love it. Love it All right, Well enjoy. This is Nick Pigeon. 

03:07 - Speaker 4 (Host)
Hi, I'm Stacy and I am Mark, and this is the Guru's a Game Changers podcast. Welcome, guru's a Game Changers, and welcome back to another live episode of this podcast. We are once again teaming with Market Live. All the guys are in studio here to bring this to you live from Mainline Studios. Here we are, wednesday night five o'clock, super excited to be here and super excited to bring in today's guest. Today's guest is Nick Pigeon. Now, nick is a positive psychologist and business coach. Actually, she's not just a positive psychologist. She was named the most outstanding positive psychologist in all of the United Kingdom. Think about that for a second. She won the Young Entrepreneur of the Year award. She was named a legendary entrepreneur from Forbes and her book was named a psychology book of the year. I'm going to talk all about her book in a second. And on top of all of that, she has a company called Unstoppable Success, and her methodologies, her training, her messaging has helped over 10,000 mostly women owned businesses achieve just that unstoppable success. 

04:14
So, look, you want a guru. We have a guru for you. You want to change your game. You want to read her book. You want to read her book. It's called. Now is your chance of 30 day guide to living your life, living your happiest life, the key word being happiest. We're going to talk all about that. So look, if you're watching this live, throw us questions for us questions for the guests getting engaged in the conversation. We are happy to do so. So, Nick, welcome to the show. 

04:42 - Niyc (Guest)
Thank you for having me. I'm so excited to be here. 

04:45 - Speaker 4 (Host)
This is great. This is great. So look, before we start, positive psychology. I don't know that everybody who's watching knows what that is and that's going to be the grounding of what we talk about. Can you just sort of just lay out for the audience what is it and what is its intention and how it's meant to help people? 

05:01 - Niyc (Guest)
Absolutely so. Positive psychology was founded in the year 2000, still pretty new and it was discovered and created as a counterbalance to psychology as usual, which was focused more on disorder and disease and looked at what goes wrong with people rather than looking at what goes right with people. So, Martin Seligman he was chair of the American Psychological Association at the time he decided that he was going to create the science based on a conversation that he had with his daughter. Now I just love this story, because he was in the garden doing the gardening and she said to him Daddy, if I can stop complaining, then you can stop being such a grouch. So he had this environment where he thought right, and he then decided that he was going to create the science of human virtue and look at what goes right with people, organizations and businesses and what we can actually do that's grounded in science, so that we can actually thrive. 

06:07 - Stacey (Host)
When did your book publish Like? When did you bring it to the public? Is that reason? 

06:12 - Niyc (Guest)
Yeah, so the book came out in 2017, but since then it's gained more and more momentum. So I think that what I learned about writing a book is that writing it and releasing it is just the very start of it. Now we have people every single day that are messaging and they just say, Nick, I've been able to change my life because I've put this tool into practice. So it feels very, very fulfilling. 

06:36 - Stacey (Host)
That's awesome and now is your chance. Are you trying to say like now's your chance to finally be happy, because happiness has a specific definition in positive psychology? Maybe you can kind of tell us the difference between like happiness and joy and not being happy? 

06:54 - Niyc (Guest)
I think this I mean this term gets thrown around so much, doesn't it about? All I want is to be happy and I think the premise of the book is really for people to understand and know that it doesn't have to be something that's out there in the future, so you can feel joyful emotion in a moment. You can connect with meaning and purpose in a moment. You can experience fulfillment in a moment. 

07:24
And I actually got asked on I think it was on a podcast interview or an interview for a magazine and the journalist had asked me Nick, you've got this book that teaches you can be happy in a month, but do you actually believe that? Yeah, and I said to her I know, and I don't just think, I don't just know that you can be happy in a month, I know that you can shift the way that you feel in an instant. So the premise of the book is that actually we have power in the now to change the way that we feel, and the more we remember that, the easier it is for you to access happiness rather than put it out there somewhere in the future. 

08:07 - Speaker 4 (Host)
And is that the power of gratitude, though I feel like in the moment? 

08:11 - Niyc (Guest)
if you're going to shift in the moment to becoming happy, the best way to do that is just accept that you're very grateful for what you have 100% and that's why I put that chapter up front, you know, because it's really such a beautiful way to walk through life, to remember everything that we already have and everything that we already are. It's really easy when you've got a lot of problems or there's a lot of challenge and change and transition in the world, as there is right now. It's really easy to get caught up in that loop of negative thinking. But gratitude is a frequency. It's like you know, turning a radio to a radio station and tuning into gratitude can completely shift the way that you perceive an experienced life. 

08:58 - Stacey (Host)
You talk about a gratitude rampage in your book. What is that? 

09:03 - Niyc (Guest)
Do you know what I love this, and it's even better when you do it with someone else, so maybe you guys can do it together after the show. 

09:12 - Speaker 4 (Host)
I love it. 

09:13 - Niyc (Guest)
I can't wait to work. You can do it as a written exercise, so you can have a journal and bring them all of the things that you are grateful for and just go, one after the other, after the other, after the other. And what the new research says in gratitude is that it's even stronger when it's shared. So if you guys get into a text conversation or you speak with a friend or a family member, we do it within our team and the business and we just say go and one person shares one thing, and then you fire off another thing and you go on a big list and it gives you this energy and excitement. And I remember one time I was walking around Miami when I was on a trip there and I ended up being grateful for gratitude itself because I felt so good. 

10:00 - Stacey (Host)
I love the story when you jump in the car with your brother and he's like, oh, is this going to be happening now? Is this going to be a thing, the whole gratitude yeah. 

10:08 - Niyc (Guest)
Are you going to drop a G bomb again there? 

10:10 - Stacey (Host)
A G bomb. I love it. Hey, we have people tuning in. Cassie says she loves the show. Hey, Cassie. Excited to hear about the book and Marie says love this. 

10:18 - Speaker 4 (Host)
She's loving this. 

10:19 - Stacey (Host)
Love you, Marie. 

10:21 - Speaker 4 (Host)
That's awesome, hey. So one of my questions that I have for you was you know, a lot of people want to do work on themselves, right? They can't be happy because they're not happy with who they are, right? Let's put it that when you talk about, like, minding the gap, if you will like, shine some light on that gap from where? From who you are to who you want to be, what should they be looking for? Why are they shining the light on the gap? 

10:48 - Niyc (Guest)
I think one of the things that I've really learned is we creators and we get to decide who it is we want to be and we get to step into the next, most powerful version of ourselves, and I think that along the way, it's really easy to put a vision of yourself outside in the future. But one of the things that I've known and learned is that small positive daily steps in the right direction compound to create big results. So when we talk about that gap between who you are now and who you want to be, I always say how can you show up as if you are that version of the person right now? And, yeah, it's like, could you like? 

11:39
Even if you look at a role model, for example, if you look at someone that you admire and you look at what it is specifically that you admire about that person, and then you ask yourselves would I like to become more like this person or would I like to embody more of that characteristic? And how might I do that right now? So not in 10 years, I'm going to be like that person. But you know what? What if I started showing up with a little bit more courage or a little bit more compassion? How might I be able to actually become that person more quickly? Because of taking the positive step right now. 

12:13 - Speaker 4 (Host)
But sometimes, in a closing that gap, I tell myself this I have a 14 year old son, so I'm constantly trying to put positive mindset and mentality in him right and I tell him like all right, there's your gap. You want to be this kind of soccer player, you are this kind of soccer player. What's the one step? Just pick one step to get yourself in the message. You're saying one step closer closes the gap. But that's change, that's maybe, maybe, massive change. 

12:37 - Stacey (Host)
Yeah yeah it's so scary for people to yeah. 

12:42 - Niyc (Guest)
I think when you look at some of the statistics where you see to become a peak performer you've got to do 10,000 hours of particular activity and if we just took that in isolation nobody would ever start. But it's understanding that that journey of 1000 miles really does start with a single step and then you'll look back and you'll be able to see how far you've really come. 

13:04 - Speaker 4 (Host)
And it's also not focusing on what your strengths are. You know you're focusing on the, the lack, you're focusing on what you're not. But I, what I've found and I I'm probably guilty of this I'm going to admit something. 

13:18 - Stacey (Host)
Why are you going to focus on what you're not good at? 

13:21 - Speaker 4 (Host)
Well, I you know, downplaying your strengths. You talk about how people sometimes downplay their strengths and I often see people and this is a personal thing I often see people who who amplify their strengths as coming across as arrogant or cocky. So I would tend to do to downplay my strength. Why is that necessarily bad? 

13:41 - Niyc (Guest)
It's interesting and I feel like a lot of it is to do with how we were brought up and in school, I know certainly I was told you have to be good at everything and let's look at the things that you're not very good at and make those better so you can be good at everything, whereas actually the positive psychology science teaches that if we just focus on what we were good at, we would reach our goals more quickly, we would have more fun along the way, and then we can actually work together with each other to complement and combine our strengths together. 

14:17
So I think there's a distinction between going off and certainly coming from England. There was a certain degree of modesty that we were encouraged to have. So I remember when I first started my online business, I was embarrassed and I was scared and I thought what is everyone going to think about me or say about me? But what I've learned is that it's practice, and when you notice that focusing on your strengths can actually make you feel good, why wouldn't you want to do more of that? Why wouldn't you want to be able to build better relationships? Why wouldn't you want to access states of flow so that everything feels more? 

14:58 - Stacey (Host)
enjoyable and easier. Yeah, I'm focusing on your strengths. It doesn't mean you're out there saying I'm good at this and I'm good at that. It's more right. You're envisioning where you're going to be right. So I had a positive psychology person that I worked with. She wanted a partner. So she literally envisioned that she already had that partner. So every night at dinner she would set a place for him, she would put candles on the table. She envisioned that and that's what actually ended up happening. I love that. Just that envisioning. So that's like manifesting right. She manifested the whole thing. She was 85. 

15:34 - Speaker 4 (Host)
Oh my God, she manifested that at 85? Yeah, crazy. What a cool story. I feel like you have a calling Like is this a calling for you? So you and I talked about this ahead of time the story of how it hit you that positive psychology was a thing and was your thing. 

15:56 - Niyc (Guest)
Yeah, 100%. I know that I can't not do this work and it's the thing that gets me out of bed every single day, so it's a real devotion. It really is a devotion and I love it every single day. I'm so grateful and the way that I came to positive psychology was when I was 17 or 18. So I'm talking 20 years ago now and I was actually signed up to do a mechanical and automotive engineering degree that I'd got scholarships to go and study at university. 

16:29
And before I went to do that, I actually took some time my friend he was a professional cricket player at the time and he'd said do you want to come over to Australia with me while it's English, like off season, so we can do some warm weather training? I said, yeah, I'll come with you. So he had gone and he was doing his training for his cricket and he was also seeing a sports psychologist. Now, I'd never had any experience of psychology. I'd never studied at school. So he was coming home and he was telling me all of these experiences that he was having and I remember he told me this conversation that he had with a psychologist and he said Nick, I was like laying on this bed and it's such a visual of a psychology room with the bed and the couch. I was laying there and the psychologist was telling me imagine that you're on the cricket field and you've got the bat in your hand and you're looking around to you and you're looking out onto the field and you can see all of the fielders. I don't want you to actually look at the fielders, I want you to look at the gaps in between them instead. 

17:42
Now, as a teenager, that for me was the biggest light bulb moment, because it made me think what if we, as humans, looked for the opportunities instead of the obstacles? And what if we focused on what's going right rather than what's going wrong? And that doesn't just have to apply to sport. So I came back from Australia, I cancelled my engineering degrees, I went through to study psychology with sport and I didn't even know positive psychology at that time. It was just a step in the right direction. So I went to study psychology with sport and then ended up seeing an invitation for an event that was happening as an after school class on a notice board. That was the positive psychology class two years later. But if I hadn't taken that first step in the right direction. I may never have found positive psychology at all. 

18:39 - Speaker 4 (Host)
That's crazy. That is just wild. 

18:41 - Stacey (Host)
To go from engineering to psychology, but you know what, maybe it's not so different, because sort of like figuring things out right. So in a way, maybe a little less technical, if not, I mean neurologies, yeah, so you always, you know, you seem so optimistic and positive, obviously, but there is, a good thing, for what you're doing in your career. 

19:03
But that's not how you always were right. I mean when you were a child, you know. I think you said when you were 11, and so in the interviews I've watched that you actually were bullied, which I can imagine how they could bully you. Looking at you now, Like where could they find that you know? 

19:21 - Niyc (Guest)
it's fascinating, isn't it, when you look back and you see the defining moments on your path. And I didn't realise that until a lot later that that was one for me. So when I was 11 or 12, I was getting bullied really badly at school, and where I used to happen was actually in Peeley, because I wasn't sporty, I was really academic and in the structured classroom environment the bullies couldn't get to me. But as soon as it was unstructured, that's where everything started to kick off. So one Tuesday morning I didn't want to go to school and nothing was changing. I wasn't getting a solution and I felt like I couldn't take it anymore. So I actually raided my mum's medicine cabinet and I had a suicide attempt at that early age. 

20:12
Now, looking back, that doesn't even seem like me. It seems like another lifetime. But what that meant was that I was taken out of school and I couldn't get into another school for six months. So I was home schooled and then my dad made a decision and I think, looking back, you can see or you can ask yourself, what was it or who was it? So what were the defining moments? 

20:37
But who were the people in your life that had a domino effect, because dad ended up deciding to remortgage our home so that he could afford to pay for me to go to a different school. Now he said it was the best and the worst decision that he'd ever made. Because then he said that I'd gone to this school and I was like scrambling because I was at the bottom of the pile and everybody else had money in our family didn't have money. But he said you know, next, you made the best of that opportunity. And he said on New Year's Eve. So every year on New Year's Eve in America now where I live, I watch the English and the UK fireworks and it's usually around three, four PM in the afternoon here. So I was watching New Year happen in the UK and I was texting my dad and I said happy New Year, dad. And he said you know, nick, you are the best investment I ever made. Oh my God. And I was in tears, crying. 

21:43 - Speaker 4 (Host)
Well, you said that when he remortised the house, it showed you the power of belief, that his belief in you showed you the power of what belief can accomplish. 

21:53 - Niyc (Guest)
Yeah, and it doesn't have to be something as big as that. It could be a kind word that someone says like I had my friend's mum, my friend's staff and her mum, angie. She was really influential. She was the first woman entrepreneur that I ever came across in Newcastle and she said to me once she said, nicolae, you are brilliant and you're always gonna be successful. No, that was one comment and it stayed with me for the last four years. 

22:24 - Speaker 4 (Host)
Powerful comment. People can make a difference, yeah. 

22:27 - Stacey (Host)
They really, really can. And but then so did you then in your nature, even though you had that issues when you were 11, did you look at it in a positive way, like were you already using sort of positive psychology you know philosophies at that age, without even realising it? 

22:45 - Niyc (Guest)
Not when I was that young Right, and one of the things that is important to remember is that in our brain we actually have a negativity bias, so it's easier for us to default to not feeling good or to thinking the negative thought, and we need three or more positives to outweigh the negative. So one of the reasons that I believe that I'm so good at what I do is because I actually didn't have a strong mindset and I noticed that if I'm not practising positive psychology actively, that I start to kind of slip back a bit, and I think that's not a bad thing because it reminds me of the power of the tools and that they really do work. So what I want for people to understand is that you don't have to naturally feel 100% happy and positive all of the time. That is intrusive, but what positive psychology does give us is a way to make a change in a moment in a simple way that is proven to work. 

23:51 - Stacey (Host)
Did you notice that once you started employing these positive psychology skills, that things that happened to you later in life you were able to sort of look at differently? 

24:01 - Niyc (Guest)
I think it definitely makes the challenges easier to navigate, because one of the things that happens with positive emotions is they have a broadening and a building effect. So when we talk about building levels of resilience, one of the ways that you can do that is to have more fun and laugh, more, experience more positive emotions and it's almost like it builds a sense of strength within you so that the next time something hard comes up, you're able to get through it more easily. So you can see that it's all supportive on the path and whether you want to feel good now, soon or later, positive psychology can help you do that. 

24:45 - Stacey (Host)
And I love how the book does that too. So, as you take people through the book and there's exercises. So you talk about gratitude first and then there's gratitude exercises and then you talk about I think it's clearing making sure that everything is like the Marie Kondo of your house, making sure that everything's clean. What are the other steps? So it's gratitude, it's letting go, I think. 

25:08 - Niyc (Guest)
Yeah, so in the book there's actually more than 60 different tools that you can walk through every day for 30 days, and I broke it down into your body, your mind and your spirit as the three sections, or the three steps, so that you can start to really get grounded and get your physical self and your physical environment and your nutrition, your movement, those real tangibles. You can get them in place first, and that gives us a almost like a foundation on which to build the next level of mindset work. So then we're moving more into the manifestation that you talked about, or the strengths. There's a really powerful practice in there about forgiveness, but it might not be the one that's the most exciting, but it creates a bigger shift. 

26:00 - Stacey (Host)
Yeah, and I did love you talked about writing letters to people in gratitude and I really love that because I think we say thank you or whatever, but I think a written letter whether or not you're going to send it to the person if you write something down about how grateful you are, like you can just think about it and like saturate it in, like all of a sudden, like other things kind of fall away. You know, that's like. I think. To me gratitude is the number one. 

26:22 - Mark (Host)
I agree. 

26:23 - Stacey (Host)
But you know, you do it every day, yeah 100% set your mind in the right place Now. 

26:28 - Speaker 4 (Host)
So you mentioned when you first started. You were saying well, what are people going to think of me? You know, should I be doing this when you're first starting your online business? So self doubt? I just want to talk about that for a minute, because every one of us knows somebody who's riddled with if it's not the person themselves riddle with self doubt, Especially when you're comparing. You look at social media I should be that, or this person's making seven figures and I'm not. So what's wrong with me? I can't do it, I'm not capable. I have doubt in my own ability. How do you move from that? I think the phrase you used, which I love, is you move from that to kick ass confidence, which I love, Like that's where I want to be all the time. Right, Not necessarily one of the steps, but what would you tell somebody right now who's just riddled with that self doubt, and how to push them? 

27:14 - Niyc (Guest)
I think one of the first things is reminding yourself to be your own biggest cheerleader. 

27:20
I think that in your day to day life you've got a relationship with yourself, like you're the person that's having the conversation inside of your mind and inside of your heart all of the time. 

27:31
So we want to be kind and compassionate in that conversation. I also think it's important to understand and know that you can actually shift the way that you think and you feel. When I talk about this idea of the word abracadabra and the thoughts that you think and the words that you speak are actually creating your reality. So if we're speaking to ourselves in a negative way, it's going to put us on the downward spiral when it comes to confidence. But in the opposite way, when we affirm and we repeat a positive, it can actually help us to feel that in more of the time. Another thing that I love about confidence is that you don't have to be confident in all areas all of the time. There's something that happens called a transfer of confidence, which means if you want to feel more powerful in your business, for example, you could go and work out at the gym. Start to create a result, feel that sense of accomplishment, tell yourself that you've done a good job, and that confidence effect will actually transfer into all of the other areas of your life. 

28:47 - Speaker 4 (Host)
I think self-talk and self-hypnosis is so powerful. Never say anything negative about myself to myself, Even if I may feel it. I'm not going to allow those thoughts in my head because other people will handle that for me in the world. So you need to be to your point. You need to be your own cheerleader. Before we talk about affirmation, just real quick. I'm not going to go off on a long dime trip, but I think everybody does it wrong. I want to hear what you have to say. It's so controversial on this episode. 

29:38 - Mark (Host)
Dammit people, no, so listen. 

29:40 - Speaker 4 (Host)
It's sort of like when you stand in front of a mirror and you're dressed up Like your shoulders are back, your stomach's tucked in, and then you turn and leave the mirror and you left that person in the mirror. You go back to normal. You don't look as good as you did, right what? I think people do that with affirmations. They'll be like I'm a Stuart Smiley from Sorry Night Live, I'm smart enough, I'm good enough, people like me and then they go. They leave their affirmations at home because they don't take the next step. 

30:05
To me, the next step is you have to have, there's a directive, there's an accountability to make that happen. So if I say my family is loving and supportive, say that's my affirmation, OK. But then the onus is on me to be loving and supportive back and to approach them with love and support to make sure they're going to be the best that they can be today, which means I get up and walk across the room when my wife gets home to give her a hug and kiss. I don't react out of frustration and anger with my son. So it's an all day directive that is driven by the affirmation. But I feel like people are like oh, I say that and then my wife's mad at me and my kids are yelling at me because they're not doing the work necessary to make that thing. I think that's what drives manifestation, not just these. I'm going to have a parking spot when I get there. That's magical thinking. That's, I think, just a waste of time. Oh, wow. So what are your thoughts? 

30:57 - Niyc (Guest)
There's so much in there. So there's so much in there. So, first of all, we know from positive psychology that there's a ripple effect that happens when somebody is working with positive psychology or they're receiving positive psychology coaching. So we see that it's not just the person that's working with the tools that has a positive shift, but their family is positively impacted, also their friends and actually every single person that that person meets. So if you're working with positive psychology or receiving positive psychology coaching, you impact 135 other people. Ok, yeah, so then that's it. It's a good stat, right. 

31:46
And then the other thing that I really know about manifestations first of all, you're not in charge of how other people behave. You can't go and control them or force them to do anything or be anything. Even if you're having the best time working with positive psychology, you felt a transformation. You can't, and actually it's sometimes hardest to tell the people that are closest to you to go and do it. So you've got to know that you are the only person that you can control. So by you doing the work, you're already doing enough. 

32:17
And I would just love to also invite and remember that it's not just about your mind. So positive psychology isn't just about thinking. It's not just about the neck up, it's also about the body too. So when practicing affirmations, I really love to anchor something in both with your psychology but also your physiology. So I always talk about like could you move your body in some way and you're anchoring it into emotion, or you're taking the affirmations out on a walk or a run with you. So then it's actually moving through your body and it's assimilating and you're embodying it so much more. I'm shifting gears a little bit Shift. 

32:57 - Stacey (Host)
Sorry, I love talking about this, but I saw that you made Elon must cry and I was hoping that you would tell the story of how that happened. 

33:04 - Niyc (Guest)
I love it. I love the shifting gears analogy as well, when he's got Tesla motors, so good, okay, amazing, yeah. So I was invited to do a Google hangout with Elon Musk and Richard Branson 10 years ago now 10 years ago. So I was given a list of questions by the production team and it was through Virgin. So it was as a result of having had investment from Virgin Starter for one of my first businesses. I said, nick, do you want to come and do this interview? And I said, yeah, of course, amazing. So I was in Newcastle in the UK. 

33:43
So Richard Branson was on Nekka Island, elon was here in Los Angeles and the Virgin Unite team in South Africa. And this list of questions that the production team had prepared were terrible. So I took it into my own hands and I thought at the last minute I'm going to change the question. So I asked Elon and I said, elon, what is the hardest thing that you've ever had to do in business, emotionally? And I thought he was just going to give some flippin' answer. 

34:14
But what happened next was the production team were behind the cameras and I could see them, but I was looking down a lens so I couldn't see what he was doing. But they were all shocked and they were going oh my goodness. And they were pointing to the camera and I thought what on earth is going on here? And when I watched it back, he'd actually teared up as he was sharing the story about when he had got all of the money from the sale of PayPal and he had to make a decision of whether to invest in two Tesla or whether to invest into SpaceX. And he said he felt like both of those businesses were his children and he didn't want either one of his babies to starve. 

34:59
So what he decided to do was go all in and put all of the money that he had into these businesses. So he left himself with nothing, to the point that he had to sleep on a friend's couch, but it paid off. So I think what I learned from that is that you have to take big risks and you can bet on yourself and trust yourself. When you know that you want and are committed to making something work, then you've got to trust yourself in that. And then, secondly, it doesn't matter whether you are just starting out in business, whether you don't have a business at all or whether you're a billionaire. Everybody gets scared. So business is an emotional journey and we get to navigate it with that in mind. 

35:43 - Speaker 4 (Host)
Is that the thing? That's the question to be asked of you. What's the most difficult thing you had to do in business? 

35:49 - Niyc (Guest)
Oh, you know, I don't think it's a big thing, I think it's a little thing. I think it's in those moments where nobody is watching, nobody knows the challenges that go on behind the scenes, nobody knows that you're feeling tired or that. I mean, I went through mold poisoning and I was running a business and I have a personal brand and a social media profile, and I think it's in those moments where you are committed to showing up and you show up again and again and you've got to tell yourself, like I always say, the only way that you can fail is if you quit. So I think it's that subtle decision in a day to keep going and don't quit. And I think that is the hardest thing, because it would be really easy just to give up when no one's watching. People are there to celebrate the results, but it's actually what it takes along the way, in terms of your discipline and determination, that really counts. 

36:55 - Stacey (Host)
How do you do mold poisoning and still? 

36:59 - Niyc (Guest)
It's actually something that is supposed to be very, very common, that people don't realise about that. I lived in a house when I first moved to Los Angeles for three months with a group of entrepreneurs, and there was black mold in that house and the only way that I found out was that I had been so sick for so many years, to the point where I was exhausted. I had all of these different symptoms and we were trying to find out what it was. It took me years. It took me brain scans. Tests finally figured it out and I posted onto Facebook and I said I've just found out, I've got mold poisoning. 

37:37
One of the guys that used to live in the house with us said I know where you've got that from, nick, and this was 2015. So I would find that probably six years down the line that I'd been suffering with this for so long. So what it taught me was that you have to be a face stand for your own health, because if I hadn't kept being in the inquiry of what it was that was wrong and I knew I didn't feel normal I would have just been resigned to feeling like that for the rest of my life. But I know that you can feel better than ever before when you know that there's a solution for the way that you're feeling. So don't give up when it comes to your health. 

38:22 - Stacey (Host)
I don't want to be laborate, but was it a blood test or was it an allergy test? How did they figure that out? 

38:28 - Niyc (Guest)
I mean, I had blood tests every three months and what was happening was we were solving one problem. So we were solving adrenal fatigue, and then I wasn't feeling better. And then we were solving heavy metals poisoning and I still wasn't feeling better. And then we're solving hormonal imbalances. But it was because we were solving the symptoms and not the cause. 

38:49
So once we found that it wasn't working, the doctor essentially after it had the brain scans they said there's only one thing that this could be, because you should be feeling better by now. So then they actually did a urine test for the mold and it was a $200 test. By this point in time it spent over $100,000 and two years trying to figure out what was wrong. And it was a $200 simple mold test. So now I've ordered some episodes of the podcast and people ask me I'm feeling like this, do you think it could be mold? And I say just going at this test. So there's a urine test and then you can test for an inflammation factor in your blood called IGF beta one. So those two things combined and I had six different types of mold in my body. 

39:40 - Stacey (Host)
I hope we're helping somebody right now. It doesn't know what's wrong with them. Yeah. 

39:44 - Speaker 4 (Host)
Because you can't see it, so you never know what's there. You're just dealing with it. 

39:47 - Stacey (Host)
They knocked the house down. They probably had to remediate the heck out of it. Yeah. 

39:51 - Niyc (Guest)
Yeah, it's gone. 

39:53 - Stacey (Host)
Okay, one other question that I have here that you can ask some more, but this one just caught me like I was listening to your book. I never got the answer to this. I hadn't gotten there yet. So you said that cutting your eye with a contact lens creating the opportunity for you to see. What did you mean by that? 

40:10 - Niyc (Guest)
So you know, when you say like as a positive psychologist and teacher's happiness, if I ever had any challenges, I feel like I've got all of them. So this was when I was in London and I took my contact lenses out. I was staying in a hotel and I cut my eye open and I it was really really sore. So I'd gone to see the doctor at the hospital and they said that you've got an ulcer on your eye and you need to put these drops in every 30 minutes to heal it. So I was having to do these drops every 30 minutes, even through the night, and I was going away on a vacation to Mexico. 

40:49
So I went on my vacation. I was really, really good, really committed to the protocol, setting these alarms for every 30 minutes, being really healthy. And then I got back home to the UK after a week in Mexico and I had a voicemail on my phone and it said hello, nicola, it's Professor Figueroa from the Royal Victoria Infirmary in Newcastle. I'm really sorry but I'm afraid we made a terrible mistake and you don't actually have an ulcer on your eye. You've got a flesh eating bug in your eye and it can make you go blind within a week. He said I need you to come into the hospital immediately. 

41:32 - Speaker 4 (Host)
This is a hell of a mistake. This is a twist. 

41:34 - Niyc (Guest)
Yeah. 

41:35 - Stacey (Host)
This is a twist Crazy, oh my God. What happened? 

41:38 - Niyc (Guest)
So I had a different type of medication that I had to take in terms of the drops in my eye, and it took 10 months to get that little thing gone. It was a tiny little amoeba, but what was happening was it curled up into a ball. So when you put the medicine in, it kind of hid. So now everything's fine. I have a little scar on my eye, but it's all completely gone. But it was just another example of it was helping me to see how I'd been living and what I'd been doing and that health was really important. So I feel like it opened me up to a new level of awareness, as all challenges do. So one of the things in positive psychology is looking for the silver linings. So I could complain about that experience for the rest of my life. Or I could say you know what? Here's what it taught me, here's what I learned in the process and in that understanding of the silver lining it helps us to find so much peace and so much gratitude, which shifts our well-being into the positive. 

42:43 - Speaker 4 (Host)
Did you just as a follow-up, did it have to die, or did you have to have it flushed out, like what had to happen for you? It? 

42:50 - Niyc (Guest)
had to die, it had to die. 

42:52 - Speaker 4 (Host)
And it was a collection or just one amoeba bug. 

42:55 - Niyc (Guest)
One little guy, and then I, oh my God. 

42:57 - Stacey (Host)
Did you want to save? 

42:58 - Speaker 4 (Host)
him Ten months. 

42:58 - Stacey (Host)
Like he's got to die, like he's eating rye. No, I don't want to save him. I was thinking maybe he's just a daughter he gets weak enough to be disappeared, so I can. 

43:07 - Mark (Host)
I, yes, go ahead. 

43:08 - Speaker 4 (Host)
So I have to ask this because I live this every day In the book. Now is your chance. That's the book. Please get it. 

43:17 - Stacey (Host)
It's fascinating, so good and very powerful and you can listen to it too. I love it with her beautiful voice. 

43:23 - Speaker 4 (Host)
You talk about the importance of having a powerful morning routine. 

43:30 - Stacey (Host)
That's your gig. 

43:31 - Speaker 4 (Host)
That's totally me. Go Tell me why. 

43:35 - Niyc (Guest)
Go. 

43:36 - Speaker 4 (Host)
What's the value? 

43:37 - Niyc (Guest)
I love it. I mean we've got an opportunity every morning to start our day in a way that allows us to feel good, and in the morning we've got more willpower. It's been studied and we've got more willpower than we have later on in the day. So if you can shift the way that you think and you feel, it's going to open you up to experience things in a much better way. So it means your brain switched on, ready for the intake of information. It means you can step more into alignment and I've got two schools of thought on morning rituals now. 

44:12
So I think if you've never had a morning ritual, it's really important to commit to a specific structure, and the one that I teach in the book I think it's got seven steps. It doesn't even have to be seven steps, it could be three. So I teach a morning ritual that is thank, connect and move. So it's gratitude, meditation and movement. And if you're just committed to doing 10 minutes, so three minutes for each of those things. That would completely transform your life just by doing the three things at the start of your day. 

44:49
I hear you 100%. What are? 

44:51 - Stacey (Host)
the other four things. 

44:52 - Niyc (Guest)
Nutrition. There's visioning. There's connecting in and speaking out your vision for the future. I actually now have 44 things on my morning ritual list. Now, when I say I've got two schools of thought, here's what they are. The first one is the structured morning ritual that I really needed when I was getting started. Now I know I'm going to do something every morning to make myself feel good, so the structure has actually been replaced by a menu. So I now have a list in my phone in the notes, which is a checklist, and I've got all good things and I go through and I'm like what do I feel like doing from this list this morning? 

45:33 - Speaker 4 (Host)
And that's the way that I'm going to do it. What are some of the menu options? 

45:39 - Niyc (Guest)
So saunas, ice bath, I've got my infrared mat. I'm doing really small things like going and having my electrolytes going outside in the sunshine playing music really loud. I'm a fan of AD Cisco. 

45:58 - Stacey (Host)
And you dance every day. 

46:00 - Niyc (Guest)
Yes, yeah, and shamanic shaking, like shaking out your whole entire body so that you can move energy through it, and it's looking at what those small gateway activities are that you can do, because sometimes if you've got a seven step ritual, it's going to take you 45 minutes. It can be easy to say, well, I don't have time for that today. But if you just tell yourself, okay, I'm going to start with the easiest thing that I know is guaranteed to make me feel good, and that thing is gratitude, or that thing is listening to Abraham Hicks on YouTube, or that thing is moving my body, that's your gateway. So then you can do step two. So, rather than thinking about it as this whole long thing, what is the easiest thing to get you started? And I would put that at the start of your ritual. 

46:49 - Stacey (Host)
So much better because I get bored of routine. So knowing that I can switch up step number one with two other things, that's probably more appealing to me, I'm going to try this menu idea. 

46:59 - Speaker 4 (Host)
I kind of like the menu idea. I'm very rigid in my morning routine. 

47:02 - Stacey (Host)
You're rigid in a lot of things. 

47:05 - Speaker 4 (Host)
It removes the ability to be flexible and add stuff, because I have assigned times to everything to make the morning the most productive it can be. So that menu idea is fascinating to me. I might have to try that. 

47:17 - Stacey (Host)
And you have children too, right. So for those people who are listening, who are like I can't do this routine. I've got kids that might be sick, there might be. You know what do you do with your children? You have twins, right. 

47:26 - Niyc (Guest)
So it might be that, instead of doing a 30 minute morning ritual every morning at 5am, you actually manage to rest five minutes for yourself to do a meditation, or you actually integrate your kids into it while you're doing a dance party with your kids, or you go and take the kids to school and then you come back and you do your ritual for yourself. 

47:50 - Speaker 4 (Host)
And come back at your dance party. 

47:51 - Niyc (Guest)
Yeah, exactly. 

47:54 - Speaker 4 (Host)
That's what the dance party in there. I'm going to ask you another question. There's a study it's all over TikTok. I've seen so many videos about it. They just measured, they were trying to figure out what was the determinant of success. It was a long range study kids into grownups and it wasn't education, it wasn't smart and it wasn't experience, and it's sort of like an angel duck were thing. It was great. They determined that that was really the be all end, all lever that they could pull to ensure that they're hitting their goals, achieving success, whatever you talk about it as a means of building resilience, how important is that to the overall? You know, gratitude, all the other things. How important is great to positive mindset and growth? 

48:33 - Niyc (Guest)
I mean, it's there, it's a fact, we all have it. We get to build on it and develop it, and it's not that one area of strength within us is any more important than us all. It's really looking at how can we build a robust sense of self. I think of it almost like scaffolding I don't know why I get that visual. It's like scaffolding inside of ourselves so that we're able to feel supported and strong. 

48:59
And I think that grittiness is the willingness to just date in it, be in it and keep on moving no matter what. I think it comes through understanding that it's not always going to be easy and understanding as well that you can weather the storm. So I think the grid is very, very important and you get to combine it with some of the elements that perhaps feel lighter. So when it comes to that the broadened and build theory, for example, knowing that your grittiness and your resilience is going to be boosted by you working with gratitude. So it's not that it's one or the other. It's actually helping you integrate and understand and practice knowing the value of both. Have you read the book as well, angela Duckworth? 

49:57 - Speaker 4 (Host)
Yeah, Great book. 

49:58 - Stacey (Host)
Phenomenal. 

49:59 - Speaker 4 (Host)
Great book. I have one final question. 

50:02 - Stacey (Host)
Wait, if I have questions, I have one final question, no just kidding, maybe I don't. 

50:07 - Niyc (Guest)
Mark's interview is almost done. Maybe I have to get it. 

50:09 - Stacey (Host)
I'm going to leave you guys just lock off. 

50:12 - Niyc (Guest)
You sit right here, I like that scaffolding. 

50:14 - Speaker 4 (Host)
Oh, I'm sorry You're going to say something. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. So what's your Asian halt for that person? For? 

50:28 - Niyc (Guest)
me, it was meditation. So when I've been in that dark place and I've been there a couple more time in my life, it's really been looking for the simplest thing that you can reach for that gives you comfort or gives you some relief is connecting in with number one, a sense of hope, because we see that when you lose hope, that's when everything starts to fall apart. So it's like knowing that there's going to be a brighter day, knowing that this, too, shall pass, reaching out to someone that can support you, and just finding that one person that, while maybe you're not being a powerful cheerleader for yourself, they can be the cheerleader for you. So I talk about the hope as the first place to start. Secondly, it's about being devoted to your practice and being devoted to yourself. So continuing to take those steps, no matter how small. 

51:29
If the step is, literally, I'm going to put on a meditation on YouTube. That was where I was and I just thought right, I'm going to do this, and it's 17 minutes or something, or it's five minutes, and I'm just going to listen and I started to notice. Day by day, I started to feel better and then connecting with yourself, with your loved ones and also with something that's bigger than you as well. So, whether that means a higher power or purpose, for me it's the mission you ask me about, why I do what I do and what positive psychology is for me. It's like I can't not do this, I have to do this. I'm on this path. It's what connects me in with that fire and motivation inside of myself. So it's maybe looking for what that is for you that keeps you going, whether it's the connection with source divine God, or whether it's a connection with what you're truly here for, whatever feels accessible for you right now. 

52:29 - Stacey (Host)
I love that, yeah, finding down. But so what is next for Nick? What's next? I know you're writing another book. I've got another two books. 

52:37 - Niyc (Guest)
So first book was positive psychology for happiness. Second book is positive psychology for mental health and suicide prevention, and then the one after that is going to be positive psychology for success and business. So that feels the books feel like the most important way that I can have an impact on the planet. Because whilst I have courses and training programs, not everybody knows about those or wants to do it, but everyone knows what a book is. Everyone can pick up a book or put on their headphones and listen to it. So that's what I feel really excited about. 

53:10 - Stacey (Host)
Well, I know I loved. Now Is your Chance and I think everybody should read it and it's just fabulous. It really, really is. 

53:18 - Speaker 4 (Host)
Love it. Now is your chance, a 30 day guide to living your happiest life, and really that does encompass it all. If you're just happy, everything else kind of falls away. But it's maintaining that happiness in this world that we're dealing with in the daily struggles and we're very blessed we don't have the struggles that most people have. So just that alone, just that learning alone, can get you out of bed in the morning. 

53:42 - Stacey (Host)
Yeah, and people reach you on your website, or if someone wants to get in touch with you, what's the best way? 

53:47 - Niyc (Guest)
So nickpigeoncom and I love hanging out on Instagram. That's probably my favorite place. I love a voice note, so you're going to get the dodgy Jordy accent. Instagram is Nick Pidge, but I'm on all of the platforms as well. This has just been so amazing. 

54:02 - Speaker 4 (Host)
Great. Thank you so much for joining us. It's been phenomenal. 

54:06 - Niyc (Guest)
Thank you for having me and thank you for being such amazing examples of positive psychology as well. I just love that you practice in it every day as well, so thank you I love it and thank you to everybody watching with some more. 

54:17 - Speaker 4 (Host)
Goodbye live, thank you, and thank you to all the gooders in GameCube. Have a great night. 

54:25 - Stacey (Host)
You're still here. You're still listening. Thanks for listening to the Gurus and Game Changers podcast While you're here. If you enjoyed it, please leave us a comment in the comment section. We want to know what you thought of the show and what you took from it and how it might have helped you. 


People on this episode