Relief from Stress and PTSD | Ep 025

Join us as we unravel the complexities of stress and trauma with our guest, Brett Cotter, a master in the art of stress relief. In our heartfelt exchange, Brett, the founder of Stress Is Gone, shares his transformative techniques for tackling daily pressures and profound traumatic experiences. Listen in as we discuss how addressing the root causes of our stress from early life can have a ripple effect, enhancing our relationships and professional lives. Brett's journey of healing and his ability to inspire calm in others provides hope and practical methods for those seeking a path to genuine stress alleviation.

Our conversation takes a poignant turn as we explore the deep impact of childhood trauma through Brett's own narrative, detailing his struggle with his parents' tumultuous divorce and his father's battle with PTSD. The unexpected guidance from a psychic, an ex-girlfriend's influence, and a nudge towards transcendental meditation became the catalysts for his emotional healing. Tune in to discover how these experiences forged a path of spiritual transformation and self-discovery for Brett, offering insights into the power of meditation to conquer underlying emotional pain.

Wrapping up this enlightening discussion, we share strategies for managing PTSD and embedding joy into our daily routines. Brett opens up about his personal loss and how it fueled his mission to support others, especially veterans, through his PTSD Free app and book, "The Three Keys to Managing PTSD." Discover the simple yet profound practices of meditation and joy, and learn how to support loved ones with PTSD. With Brett's guidance, we highlight the importance of self-care and connection, showing how just 20 minutes a day can significantly uplift one's spirit and well-being.

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Transcript

00:02 - Mark (Host)
Stacy. 

00:04 - Stacey (Host)
Mark. 

00:05 - Mark (Host)
What? What's your current level of stress? 

00:08 - Stacey (Host)
I gotta be honest, I'm a little stressed out right now. A lot of stuff on my plate, yeah, but I think everybody is just a way of the way of things right now. 

00:15 - Mark (Host)
right, we're all stressed for our personal reasons or because of all the bad shit happening out there that creates bad shit in us. Yeah, how do you deal with it? What's your best stress reliever? 

00:25 - Stacey (Host)
I just started meditating oh yeah, I was trying to do that, but my best one is working out for sure Working out. Yeah, going to yoga. 

00:32 - Mark (Host)
Preaching to the choir right. 

00:33 - Stacey (Host)
Yeah, yeah. 

00:34 - Mark (Host)
It's. I think I've said it on the podcast before that it's more for your sanity than it is for your vanity. 

00:39 - Stacey (Host)
It's true For sure. But today's guest, I mean, did you instantly feel calm or what, talking to that guy? 

00:45 - Mark (Host)
He is like he emanates. That's a great way to put it. He emanates calm. 

00:49 - Stacey (Host)
He emanates calm, like you know, before the show started I was talking to him and I'm like, I'm really stressed out, I'm so glad you're here today, and he gave me a technique to use before the show. 

00:59 - Brett  (Guest)
And I swear I was like barely having a pulse during the recording. 

01:03 - Mark (Host)
I hope I had enough energy. 

01:05 - Stacey (Host)
Uh yeah, he's next level, yeah. 

01:09 - Mark (Host)
Next level expert on removing stress. I mean, he has a company. He created a company 20 years ago called stress is gone and he's lived up to that for some big institutions as well as one on one. You know, you at home, just, I'm having a bad time right now. I'm pretty stressed, I have anxiety. Um, you know, I I'm, I've negative thoughts, you know, and I don't think things are going to work out. This guy can help, he. We learned a lot. 

01:36 - Stacey (Host)
Simple ways. Yeah, he has tools. He has actual tools that you can use in addition to talking to him, which I would suggest, because he does make you feel better. But then he has these stories, the stories about his life, stories about his father. He was a vet, a Vietnam vet, and PTSD. 

01:53 - Mark (Host)
Yeah, and his relationship with his mother. I mean he, he can help people with trauma because he's been there. He's experienced it. So I think you're going to learn a lot and be fascinated by the energy. 

02:06 - Stacey (Host)
It's probably the best way to put it, and if you believe in ghosts? 

02:09 - Mark (Host)
that's another one for you to believe in ghosts. You should listen and watch on YouTube. Enjoy, mr Brett Cotter. Hi, I'm Stacy and. 

02:18 - Stacey (Host)
I am Mark. 

02:21 - Mark (Host)
And this is the Guru's, a game changer's podcast. Welcome everybody. I have a quick question for you. Are you stressed? Probably right. Are you anxious about some things or maybe pessimistic about the future, with good reason. The reality is, even if you're only partially paying attention to the things going on out there, you have good reason to be stressed, and that's not your personal stress of money and your job and your health and your care and you have to deal with your job and your health and your kids and all the things that you have to deal with in a daily grind. 

02:51
Today's guest, brett Cotter, is here to help you with all of that. He's going to show us techniques to help you stop your stress and its tracks. It can help you ease that anxiety and ultimately, it's going to transform your negative thinking into something that's far more useful to you, far more empowering to you. So 20 years ago, brett started a company called Stress Is Gone. He's been out there changing the lives of people every day, and his clients are amazing. You know he's got Fortune 500 companies. He works with the US military, he works with school systems and hospital systems and his methods are even used at disaster sites where you would imagine that stress and anxiety is at its peak. And fortunately for us, today he's not out there. Today he's right here. He's here with us to share his method. It's a method that's born from his own personal trauma that he's going to share with us, but truly is a case of one man's trauma being a treasure for us all. So very excited to welcome Mr Brick. 

03:50
I wanted a dramatic pause Dramatic pause, very excited to have this man in studio with us because of what he can do for all of us. Brett, welcome to the show buddy Welcome Brett. 

03:58 - Brett  (Guest)
Thank you so much, mark and Stacy, for having me. 

04:01 - Stacey (Host)
I'm so excited to be here with you, buddy. 

04:03 - Brett  (Guest)
And thank you for that wonderful intro. You're welcome. It was awesome, it's well deserved for sure. 

04:07 - Mark (Host)
Look, you're very unique in that way, right, Because some of us have that simple stress of the daily grind and then some people have haunting traumatic memories and a pain that comes with that right, and you have found a way to help everybody in between. 

04:22 - Brett  (Guest)
Yeah. So what I found through since I got into this work in 1999, is that underneath those routine stress patterns that we have in our career, with our relationships with our spouses, with our parents, with our kids, with our friends, there's one or two traumas from our formative years that set up a core belief about who we are and how safe we are in the world and that continues to replay in different areas of our life. So the trauma that we experience in our family of origin during our formative years recreates as adults in our relationships, in our own families and in our careers. So what I found was, if you actually get to the core trauma and you release all of the pain, panic, fear, shame, blame, everything in there and you're really present with it, you actually break apart that pattern from the original memory and then all the other problems that came after start to fall like dominoes and it clears a pathway for you to move forward more authentically. 

05:31 - Stacey (Host)
Wow, that's great. Well, I for one am excited you're here. We talked before the show. You know it's definitely there's there's stress kind of up and downs in everybody's life. Do you think you could share like the defining moment from your personal journey that started you on this track? 

05:49 - Brett  (Guest)
Well, so so many. But my story really starts with stress when I was six, right. So I was born in 1973. My father and mother grew up around the block from each other when in Flushing Queens, new York, ok, yeah, and my father when he was 18, he signed up for the Marines and went to Vietnam. My dad experienced a lot of trauma early in his childhood and and also in his adolescence and young adulthood. So his mom passed away from suicide when he was six and then he went to Vietnam and then, with two weeks left to go in Vietnam, his brother passed away in a tragic car accident and his brother was like his hero. When he did get back, he became a firefighter and because of his PTSD and his trauma, he got sucked into the world of partying in New York City with his firehouse buddies and stuff, like so many guys in the 70s and 80s did. You know, good men, good hearted people just got sucked into that hurricane. 

07:00
My mother divorced him when I was six and it was a super messy, emotional divorce. You know a lot of people have messy divorces with finances and stuff like that. That really wasn't the case. We didn't have too much to fight over so, but it was more emotionally. 

07:16
And when my mother divorced him, that's where my pain set in right and my father wasn't able to show up for his visitation. So really what happened was I was on the front stoop waiting for him to show up, because he would call and say I'm on my way, but then he would never show up. So I'd be on the stoop the whole weekend and this was probably from six to like nine-ish in there, you know where he missed a few birthdays and things like that. So I remember talking to him when I was older, maybe 10 years after, getting into the whole like emotional, you know, enlightenment thing and just emotional education, emotional awareness thing. I said, dad, why would you call and not show up? You know, as an adult I don't understand that, you know. And as a dad and he's like Brett, I drove down the block a thousand times, he goes, I couldn't turn the corner why? 

08:09
And the pain was too much for him to face his own failure. 

08:13 - Mark (Host)
Got it and his own pain. 

08:15 - Brett  (Guest)
And there was something that he said when I was eight. We were on a camping trip and I was begging him to come home and he was like I would, but your mom won't let me. And that's where a whole, nother level of pain in my story came in, because I was already having that core belief of a love is gonna leave me, because now he's gone, right, but then my mother, who is my rock and this amazing wise being. 

08:50
I hated her because I blamed a divorce on her when he said that I would come home, but your mom won't let me. My mother told me when I would get back for my visitation with him. It would be like three or four days sometimes where I was just super angry I'm talking like you know, a second grade or third grade super angry, kicking stuff and just like really pissed off to be home, right you know. So that affected me in an amazing way in all of my relationships with women, right Until I was 27. And that really affected me with how I related to women in a huge way. 

09:29 - Mark (Host)
And you said in doing our research on you, I found where you said that there was a sequence of events that led you to break free from that and you mentioned at the age of 27,. What was that sequence? 

09:40 - Brett  (Guest)
She called me out of the blue and she's like Brett, I know it's gonna sound crazy, but I was at this party in Long Island. I met this psychic and she was dead on with me, you and John and I want you to talk to her. So I got her number, tried calling her for six months. She wouldn't pick up the phone right. So then, like a week before I got in touch with that psychic, a ex-girlfriend calls me in the middle of the night, three in the morning, and says Brett, I know we haven't spoken a long time, but I just have a message for you you need to learn how to meditate. So we spoke for like a few more minutes and then I, you know, I got off the phone and I was like you know, I couldn't really sleep. 

10:18
So open up this book. I was reading and right on the next chapter it said before you read this chapter, you need to learn how to meditate. And now I'm like I put the book down, I'm like I'm bugging out. And then I'm like and I can't go to sleep. So I turn the TV and this is the first time I ever saw this guy ever, joel Olstein. He's like you gotta learn how to meditate with his hand up and now I'm like totally tripping out. 

10:43
I'm like, but I get it. You know I have a thick head. The universe is like ding dong, you know knocks three times. So I scheduled a retreat that weekend to learn how to do transcendental meditation and that completely changed my life in amazing ways. And when I got home from that retreat on that Sunday I was like let me call Tara, that was the psychic into. 

11:06
Arizona and she just picks up the phone and goes thanks for hanging in there, kiddo. Didn't say who is it, didn't say hello, and the first thing she told me when we started our session was three things. I never told anybody, anybody, just to create credibility with me, Right. And from there on I was like she's tapped into some intelligence and I want it. I want to understand what that is. And she knew my problem because I confided in her in the session. She knew my heart was burning to let go of jealousy, because jealousy was ruining all my relationships from age 15 to 27. And I was in another loving relationship that I loved the woman, but my jealousy was coming out at like the 18 month mark and just tearing the relationship to shreds. So she referred me to a healer in Sedona, arizona, and that's where the next step of my journey and really where everything started to open up. 

12:05
So I sat down with this man for 90 minutes and the first five minutes he surfaced from within my body, my cellular memory of when I was five, watching my parents argue and fight, and it was the same exact way I argued it and fought with all of my girlfriends from age 15 to 27. So my mother's arms were wild, she was yelling. My father was standing there clenching his fists and grinding his teeth and yelling, and it was the exact same thing. And then I'm in this memory now like I looked down, just as I see the couch here and the carpet there. 

12:42
I was a five year old and I looked down. It was the same carpet that I was on when I felt it and I was just. I saw how innocent, I was, just absorbing the original blueprint of the pattern. When that memory came up, I felt all the jealousy inside my body start to unlock and release and I literally was feeling it. And then, when that released, then all the anger and rage that was below it came up. And then, when that released, all the sadness that the anger was protecting came up, and underneath it all was the fear of abandonment. And that's what I absorbed in that original memory. And when that unlocked and released, then I just started feeling waves of unconditional love coursing through every cell in my body. 

13:29 - Mark (Host)
So your revival is very spiritual Probably a good way to put it and your work with people is obviously going to be grounded in that. Like accessing your higher self or meditation, transcendental meditation. You must hit walls with people when they aren't buying it. I guess, is a probably good way to put it. How do you break through those walls? 

13:55 - Brett  (Guest)
I work with people that have tried every different thing to like process their trauma and a lot of times it re-traumatizes people going through that and the only thing I could say is that the light never disappoints. It never disappoints Meaning if we have 50 pounds of emotional pain on the table, 51 pounds of light comes through to clean out all the old emotional residue from your mind, body, psyche and spirit. So, like it gets into it, you feel it digging and working and often people say I feel a lot of warmth coming over me, I feel this tingly sensation. Then some people will say I feel waves. It comes in in very in a few different forms, but it's all the feelings inside your body that make it real. 

14:44 - Mark (Host)
What about the non-heavy deep memories? What about the? How am I gonna make rent Right? The stress how am I gonna do that? Or, I got my hope. I hope my daughter's gonna be okay. She's getting bullied at school. Is it the same process, only scaled down? Or is it like a version of your method light? 

15:05 - Brett  (Guest)
Awesome question. So regarding our kids or worries about our kids, our children are just physical reflections of our own inner children, and the issues and the stress they bring in up in us are showing us where we are to heal. 

15:21 - Mark (Host)
Interesting Darn it Super important with our kids to understand that, and I'm still my son's 18. 

15:26 - Brett  (Guest)
I'm working on this every freaking day Right. 

15:29 - Mark (Host)
So, regarding the present day stresses right Regarding the present day stresses that we're talking about. 

15:36 - Brett  (Guest)
So a lot of people come to me when they recently lost a loved one, when they feel overwhelmed. 

15:41
What we do is we quickly go into the biggest loss they encountered in their formative years and nine times out of 10, that individual that came to me lost a loved one that was close to them when they were in their formative years or early teens and they never processed it. 

15:59
So what we do is we unlock and release all the core blocks around the heart, all the old pain and trauma around that original loss where the original energy of loss sunk into their body and their psyche, and we unlock and release it so that they could open up their heart again in the session to that lost loved one and they actually feel a connection with that original loved one that they lost. Right, you actually feel it in your heart, like you could feel them often. They'll see them. Often. They start talking to them in the session and they feel them with them later on that day as well. There's some testimonials on the website about that. When we do that work, the loss in the present day becomes 10 times less and more manageable, because we have unlocked and released and healed the original fear of loss, the blueprint of it. 

16:50
So yes, we're gonna still miss that person right, but we're also gonna be able to connect with that person, call them into our dreams, and the only reason why they don't come to us in our dreams is because when they get close, it triggers a huge amount of pain. So when we process the pain and let it go, we're more open to receiving them from the other side right and seeing their messages and feeling connected to them. And that's really, I feel, the gift of this work is transcending some of the barriers between this world and the next. 

17:20 - Stacey (Host)
You talked about your dad and he had PTSD, and then you had said I read that your dad died of the long-term effects of PTSD. What are they and what happened? 

17:30 - Brett  (Guest)
My dad at this time was living on his own. He dealt with his stress in three ways Budweiser, mowing his lawn. He was living on a five acre property and he mows lawn two to three times a week, right, so I would probably mow it once a month if I had that much land right. 

17:46
And then also telling jokes. So his symptoms were probably like his heart rate, his propensity for alcohol and his diversion of not looking at the hard stuff. He thought his demons were much too big for him and much bigger than him. So I created this app called PTSD Free and I wanted my dad to test it for me. 

18:12 - Mark (Host)
Hey guys, thanks for listening. If you like what you're hearing, please leave us a review, give us a follow, subscribe, Like subscribe, All those things, all those things, All those things. We love it because we read each and every comment and it helped shape the show, so we would appreciate it. 

18:25 - Stacey (Host)
Please, and back to the show. 

18:28 - Brett  (Guest)
So we were using this testing app called Test Flight and I sent it to him and then he was ducking me right. He wouldn't return my calls like a month. So I'm like, call him, leave him a message. So he finally calls me. It was a Tuesday night and I'm walking into a meeting and I said well, he said Brett, I'm so sorry, I know, I've been meaning to get back to you. He's like I hate to tell you this, I'm just not an app guy. I can't use it. I'm like what's the matter? What's wrong? And he goes my hands are just too big. 

18:55
My father had huge hands. He was a Marine veteran, new York City firefighter work, construction, built dental offices, houses, bars, so and he was a mechanic and so his hands were huge. So I'm like, dad, that's okay. I was like look, I just wanna help you get to the core of the PTSD stuff. I go what is the sense of me working with veterans if the ones that matter most of me slip through my fingers? And he said do you really wanna pop the lid off of this top Cause? Again, he thought his demons were bigger than him. And I said yes, dad, I do. And he said okay, we'll do. Let's do a session on Friday and this is Tuesday night. So I was elated. You know that. 

19:41
We got there and the next day around 12 noon he was shopping with his buddy. They had this wacky Wednesday's barbecue him, a firehouse buddy and a retired New York City police officer they were all Vietnam veterans and he had a bleeding stroke in the center of his brain and 11 days later we buried him and I never got to do that session with him. So after crying like a baby for six months and being a guinea pig on a technique that came through to help us process the loss of loved ones, I started writing the book after six months because I wanted people to have a tool people like him cause anyone could read a book and write in it. And then that's when I started writing the three keys to managing PTSD. That was the motivation behind it. 

20:55 - Mark (Host)
And I saw where you got a copy of that book into every homeless vet in Jersey. Yeah, so that's an incredible accomplishment. 

21:06 - Brett  (Guest)
Thank you. We did a GoFundMe in 2019, right before the pandemic and we raised enough money to print, and I hand delivered a copy of the book to each homeless veteran that was sheltered in New Jersey. And then we also partnered with a company called Backpacks for Life, brett Delessandro and his wife Alexa, and they get these rucksacks of survival tools to homeless veterans around the world, and so we made a large donation at that point to try and reach all the homeless veterans that were not sheltered as well in New Jersey at that time. 

21:52 - Stacey (Host)
That's amazing. So what are the three keys? For those that need to hear it? 

21:56 - Brett  (Guest)
Yeah. So the first key is learn how to stop a stress reaction. The second key is resolve the trauma. And the third key is meditate every day. And the first key to stop a stress reaction is, anytime you're stressed, just touch the tension wherever you feel it I usually feel it in my heart Start breathing deep and slow and once per breath you silently say the words I'm okay. And if you're with somebody you have an argument, just take a quick breath break, take a two minute walk, gather yourself and then come back clear and then talk from an authentic place the authentic you. 

22:41 - Stacey (Host)
I think for most people myself included like getting into that mode or meditating, or, you know, like we're so running all the time. What's your suggestion for someone who's really busy? They want to meditate. Do you wake up in the morning and meditate? Do you find a time at 2pm? Do you? You know what are good hints in order to start, because I know I need to do it every day. And it's just I feel like it doesn't fit in my world. 

23:08 - Brett  (Guest)
Here's the thing. It's almost like what was that Apple commercial back in the day with the Macintosh one when they threw the brick through the screen. 

23:16 - Mark (Host)
Yeah, Macintosh. 

23:17 - Brett  (Guest)
Think of your daily calendar and throwing a brick through it. Right, Because our daily calendar is all about survival, typically. Right, I have to do this. I have to do this I have to do this, I have to do this, and where are you in it? Okay, you're just sucked into the matrix, right? And everything is about draining your energy to survive. So what we teach in our membership is 10 minutes of meditation and 10 minutes of joy. Okay, you fit it in anywhere you want. Explain the joy part. 

23:49
Sure Joy is whatever brings you joy. For me it's singing and dancing. So you know, you make a playlist of your 20 favorite songs and you play three of those songs, and it could be during your commute. You don't even have to dance, but as long as you're singing along with it, smiling, enjoying it, got it. 

24:08
Because when you reflect on that later in the day, it kind of like blows some wind in your sails. Right, got it it. Just it throws a monkey wrench into the whole stress cycle. Right. And the meditation this is really important. So meditation should be a part of your life and you could do it on the go. So we just did it in the middle of a show, I do this when I'm driving, I do this. I did this right before we started. 

24:36
It's just something you want to integrate into your everyday life and anytime you notice one of your stress signals. So your stress signals are an elevated heart rate, taking short, shallow breaths, right. Feeling tension in your body, feeling emotional, being upset or hearing repetitive negative thoughts. Those are five stress signals. Anytime you feel one of those or realize one of those, just touch the tension, start breathing into it, take 30 seconds to embrace the emotion and the stress with your breath from the inside out and do the mantra I'm okay, once per breath, right, do for 30 seconds a minute just to disengage the fight or fight reaction. 

25:17 - Mark (Host)
I love the 10 minutes of joy. I don't think anybody thinks about that. People will think I need to spend some time with my thoughts. I need to sit quietly, I need to reflect on the day or I need to prepare for the day by sitting quietly. I don't know how many people are thinking about I need to schedule some joy today. I may have things I want to do, but I never get to them. 

25:37 - Brett  (Guest)
But one of my favorite parts is the joy part, because we have movement and dance segments where marines are skipping Okay, everybody's spinning. We're doing swing dancing, sometimes right. So we're learning how to interrelate with each other with an open heart, and then we switch partners every three spins. So you're getting used to things starting, maintaining an ending, right, because they're like the cycles in our lives right and coming and going. And it's just so special the way joy anchors in and what it does for our energy. And joy anchors in your spirit and it introduces it into your body. So when we get sucked into the matrix of all the things that we have to do every day, our spirit leaves. It's like I don't want to be there, screw that Right, no fun. When we bring in joy, our spirit is like whoa, it's happening down there. More of your energy comes back your energy, your life force, it's beautiful. 

26:34
It just comes back and there was a number of studies that people that meditate for over five years consistently no-transcript biological age of their cells under a microscope read up to 12 years younger. So if you're looking for the fountain of youth, you're sitting on it. Sit down, get quiet and meditate. 

26:56 - Stacey (Host)
I really think, like practically for our audience, like if they're a caregiver of someone who has PTSD or someone who's completely stressed out, what advice would you give to them? Like, if you were to go back now with your dad, knowing what you know, what would you do differently? 

27:15 - Brett  (Guest)
I would just spend more time and connect with him. I always wanted to videotape an interview with him, you know, and I didn't get a chance to do that with him. So I bought these this deck of cards which is 150 cards or for this website last week and it's like interview cards and it's like how to interview your elders, and it's just pick a card and ask I'm not gonna do that with my mom. 

27:44 - Stacey (Host)
Love that. 

27:45 - Brett  (Guest)
So at least we'll have that, you know. And but yeah, so if someone you know or love is struggling with PTSD, check in on them. Okay, listen, a lot of times we're afraid of it and we kind of like are afraid to go there, but really just say, hey, how's it going? I was thinking about you, and then just shut up, have a few other open-ended questions what do you got going on today? No judgment, don't call them and, like you know, vent all your stuff. That's what we tend to do. Just ask them how they're doing today. 

28:18
I was thinking about you and what they got going on. And if there's some place to physically connect, like meet up for lunch to do that, to give them something to look forward to, that's a great thing to do. But just being there in their life is really important. And then knowing there's a few red flag statements that you might hear, like veterans say I feel like I'm losing my mind. If you hear someone say that, I want you to know that that is a major red flag for suicidal ideation. 

28:52
When a veteran says that I feel like I'm losing my mind, nothing's working, things like that, like if you or I were saying it, you might not think oh, brett's having suicidal ideation. 

29:05
But if you hear a veteran say that, that's like a major siren should be going off in your head to then say tell me more, tell me everything. I want to hear everything, without any judgment. Keep on asking, like get them to feel safe enough to open up and empty the tank. That's part of the suicide prevention protocol that I'm now training vet to vet, crisis counselors and peer support specialists on. It's how to sit with them with their darkest moments and just ask simple, open ended questions so they feel safe enough to open up and go there without judgment, and you just softly encourage them and and then it's connecting them with all the services they need right to handle the present day stresses that are stressing them out Could be like relationship issues, legal issues, financial issues, whatever it is, health care issues, and then also the help to work out those deeper inner traumas that were never sorted out yet. 

30:00 - Stacey (Host)
Are there physical red flags to know that someone has PTSD Like? 

30:06 - Brett  (Guest)
I think Behavior patterns are important to understand. You know, substance abuse and use, withdrawing from family events I can't make it. I can't make it red flag. There's a lot of things. If they're, if they just got their medication changed, you better be on top of them. That's something that not a lot of people talk about, but that is a major marker towards veteran veterans. Nine by suicide. When there is a recent medication change, if there's family court disagreements with their child's spouse Not seeing their children, major, major red flags, and then yeah, so those I feel are really, really important to understand. And then there's a final wave of negative thoughts that occur right before suicide. Which is everyone's better off without me. 

31:12
If you hear, you know your son, your daughter, your uncle, your aunt, your mother, your father, your brother. You said to say that you call 911 and you get in your car and you go over there. 

31:24 - Stacey (Host)
Really. 

31:25 - Brett  (Guest)
Oh yeah, everyone's better off without me. That's one of the final waves. My life was a waste. That's another one. All right, you hear that you call 911 and you get over and you are next to them very important. We understand this as civilians because they've gone through things that will never understand. That's part of the problem. You know, when they go and talk to a therapist it brings up so much stuff and a lot of times those sessions don't have the answers for everything it just brought up and then they're looking at someone that hasn't gone through what they've been through and can't relate to it. So now all this stuff came up and you know these folks and there's no way to bring it. So therapy is really not you know an answer or they might have had a bad experience. So it's like now that's just like shit, I'm just going to drink it away. You know, or deal with it how? 

32:16
I deal with it, and then it festers and gets worse and worse and worse and worse and takes over Right, yeah, until it's too late. Yeah. 

32:23 - Stacey (Host)
I want to make sure that we get the word out about you, about your book, you know. If you want to tell us how we can help you offer a range of services, from one on one coaching to retreats, what else? What else is there that you want to? You want to tell the audience? 

32:39 - Brett  (Guest)
So stress is gone, is this beautiful universe that my wife and I have created, and it's a membership I we teach in it six days a week, right, 20 minute sessions really, you know, short and sweet to the point, they bring in a lot of mind clearing, emotional balancing, really grounding your energy and your body, getting you clear and excited to face the challenges in your life. And, more importantly, it gives you the tools like stressed upper breath work, the anxiety freedom technique, the traumatic memory release. All these things, the freedom formula. It gives you the tools to use when the rubber meets the road. When you're out there and you're triggered. When you're out there and you're arguing with your wife or your husband or you're about to, you know you want to strangle one of your kids, right when you're just like and when you're there and it's like, oh right, I have something I could do, I have a tool to use. 

33:41
So it's using that. And then it's becoming really more comfortable and efficient at expressing your emotions, your core emotions, because once you learn how to vent it, something special happens Stress is gonecom is the website. The easiest way to dive in is our membership. We also have a free mini course with a masterclass. Our coaching is amazing. You could buy one session or a four pack and they're done over the phone, in the privacy and comfort of your own home. You're laying down with earbuds in. I'm talking with you. We are going through all the pain of your childhood unlocking it and releasing it. You are under blankets and you feel safe. And when you're under blankets, feeling safe in your own bed. 

34:25
yeah, your body lets down all of its protection mechanisms and everything comes up to release, because every cell has been pre programmed to return to homeostasis. The body is ready to let go, and this is just a pathway to do that. 

34:39 - Mark (Host)
That's good stuff. Yeah, brad's been great Thank you. 

34:42 - Stacey (Host)
Thank you enough for coming in so much. Thank you so much for having me Really so many big takeaways for you Personally. I've taken a lot out of this, so I appreciate you. 

34:50 - Mark (Host)
10 minutes of joy. I'm going to schedule it for today, tomorrow. 

34:53 - Stacey (Host)
Right now. After this, we'll start dancing. 

34:56 - Mark (Host)
We're going to sing and dance, Thank you everybody for tuning in and thank you to our guests. Have a great day. 

35:07 - Stacey (Host)
You're still here. You're still listening. Thanks for listening to the Gurus and Game Changers podcast While you're here. If you enjoyed it, please take a minute to rate this episode and leave us a quick review. We want to know what you thought of the show and what you took from it and how it might have helped you. We read and appreciate every comment. Thanks, See you next week.