How to Find Your Inner Queen - Thoughts from a Senior Beauty Pageant Star | Ep 061

➡️ In this episode, we sit down with Beth Leska, who brings an extraordinary perspective from her journey as an Army Military Police officer to becoming Mrs. New Jersey United States 2004, and now Ms. Idaho Senior America. Beth shares intimate details about the world of pageantry, breaking down stereotypes and revealing how these competitions build confidence, public speaking skills, and personal development.

From her groundbreaking service in the Army MP Corps in the 1980s to her current advocacy for long-term care reform, Beth exemplifies resilience and continuous personal growth. She provides unique insights into:

💃🏻 The reality of pageant competition preparation
💃🏻 Challenges faced as a woman in military police
💃🏻 The hidden crisis in America's long-term care system
💃🏻 Practical solutions for funding future healthcare needs

➡️  Episode Highlights
 - Won Mrs. New Jersey United States in 2004
 - Recently competed as Ms. Idaho Senior America 2024
 - Served as Military Police in 1986 when female-to-male ratio was 1:3
 - Reveals perspective on pageant preparation, including specialized coaching
 - Discusses national crisis in long-term care and dementia support
 - Proposes innovative solution for long-term care funding through Social Security

➡️ Chapters
00:01 - Hosts' Opening Discussion about Pageants
03:08 - Meet Beth Leska: Ms. Idaho Senior America 2024
04:07 - First Pageant Experience (Mrs. New Jersey 2003)
08:50 - The Sport of Pageantry: Behind the Scenes
11:20 - Pageant Secrets: Special Jewelry & Coaching
12:53 - Military Career: Breaking Barriers as Female MP in 1986
15:10 - Platform: The Long-Term Care Crisis in America
18:30 - Solutions: Proposed Changes to Social Security
20:18 - Episode Wrap-up

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➡️ Connect with our Hosts:
Stacey: https://www.instagram.com/staceymgrant/
Mark: https://www.instagram.com/mark_lubragge_onair/

➡️ More about the guest:  Beth Leska
Beth's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bethleska/
Hair, Makeup, Styling: Constantine James Lupu-Haritos  @Constantine_James  
Constantine's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/constantine_james/
Photography: Matty Jacobsen 
Matty's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/magicdreamsproductions/

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➡️ Thanks for watching:
#MilitaryToPageant #BeautyQueenAt60 #ArmyMP #SeniorPageant #AgingGracefully #MrsNewJersey #FemaleVeteran #MilitaryWomen #PersonalTransformation #WomenInMilitary #SeniorBeauty #PageantQueen #LifeAfter60 #WomenEmpowerment #VeteranStories #UnexpectedJourneys #SecondActs #AgelessBeauty #MilitaryToModel #BreakingStereotypes
#PersonalDevelopment #LifeTransformation #VeteranSuccess #WomenInService #SeniorLifestyle #PageantLife #CareerChange #Reinvention #MilitaryVeteran #InspiringWomen #LifeAfter50 #BeautyPageant #MilitaryPolice #WomenLeaders #VeteranOwned #SecondCareer #AgingWell #WomenInUniform #LifeStories #TransformationStory

Transcript

00:01 - Mark Lubragge (Host)
Stacy quick question Would you ever consider entering a pageant? 

00:05 - Stacey Grant (Host)
Yes, I just entered one just now, right after Beth Leska left, and what's the name? 

00:09 - Mark Lubragge (Host)
of that pageant, what I'm just kidding. 

00:12 - Stacey Grant (Host)
No, I have never considered it, but I have to say that my mind is open. 

00:18 - Mark Lubragge (Host)
Okay, but you're not going to win, miss Congeniality. 

00:20 - Stacey Grant (Host)
No, that's the one part I'm going to lose. How about you? Would you ever enter a male pageant? Not a chance. Why not a chance? No, that's ridiculous, why not For one. 

00:30 - Mark Lubragge (Host)
It's predominantly a female pageant. Why is it just women? Because this woman that we just interviewed, she didn't even consider it until she was 40. 

00:37 - Stacey Grant (Host)
Yeah, but that has nothing to do with why men, why wouldn't you join a pageant? Do they have men's pageants? Of course they do. 

00:43 - Mark Lubragge (Host)
Do they really? 

00:44 - Stacey Grant (Host)
Mr America, that is not a pageant. You just got to pump up on the iron. 

00:48 - Mark Lubragge (Host)
I clearly am not entering that. Hold on so. 

00:51 - Stacey Grant (Host)
You have to do like five more workouts a day. You only do three now. It's not going to help. 

00:56 - Mark Lubragge (Host)
Believe me, it's not going to help. She entered her first pageant, which is a pageant for women over 60. Yes, and this has become a part of her life. But the reason she got started was to kind of change who she was. She needed to grow right and she set this odd. It's not a goal most people set. Her goal for showing that she was able to change was I'm going to join the pageant. 

01:23 - Stacey Grant (Host)
It was Miss New Jersey or something like that, which to me seems like you're going to go get judged Like. I can't look at it like I'm going to go enhance myself, but from her perspective it was absolutely not the case. 

01:35 - Mark Lubragge (Host)
And, if you think about it, it's a great goal. If you want to judge yourself, for how much progress did I make? Because there's a physical component, there's a mental component. 

01:42 - Stacey Grant (Host)
There's a polished component Evening gown. Yeah, there's a lot to it. 

01:48 - Mark Lubragge (Host)
No, thank you, it's actually it's a pretty cool goal. 

01:49 - Stacey Grant (Host)
I don't think I can do it. Actually I don't know if I can do it. I don't think. 

01:51 - Mark Lubragge (Host)
I could, you can't do it. 

01:52 - Stacey Grant (Host)
I just can't imagine standing in front of a bunch of judges and even in an evening gown. Even if I didn't have to wear the bathing suit, Hers was easy. Crazy mortifying, I think Even in my younger years, right. 

02:05 - Mark Lubragge (Host)
Yeah, I don't know. It's a weird thing. You know when? 

02:07 - Stacey Grant (Host)
I actually could maybe wear a bathing suit in front of people without feeling like I needed to cover myself up from head to toe. 

02:14 - Mark Lubragge (Host)
But the interesting thing for me, for this is the reason she got into it and how. Not just the reason, but what she had to shed mentally, emotionally, what she had to shed to get to the point where she could stay, and her platform, which is one of the reasons that we had her come here and her platform. 

02:28 - Stacey Grant (Host)
Which is fantastic, which you're going to hear about. You have to learn about this thing. Everybody in America needs to know about Beth Leska's platform. Yeah, we tell you that. 

02:37 - Mark Lubragge (Host)
Stick with the episode. It's a fascinating journey through the world of pageantry, military police, of pageantry, military police, military police. She's got a whole lot going on. I know right, joy, miss Beth Leskin. Hi, I'm Stacey and I am Mark, and this is the Gurus and Game Changers podcast. Welcome in everybody. So I have to admit I have become secretly obsessed with the topic we're talking about today. It's a little bit of a guilty pleasure in studio with us. 

03:08
I know in studio with us today is Beth Leska. She was the 2024, is the 2024? Ms Idaho, senior America. This is a pageant, one of a couple that's organized for women over 60. And I got to tell you, when you look at it, it is pretty fascinating. They have their own philosophy. They have their own Ten Commandments. They have what appears to be a big warning on their website to fend off would-be stalkers. 

03:30 - Beth Leska (Guest)
That's how I interpreted it. 

03:33 - Mark Lubragge (Host)
The scoring for the contestants includes things like their philosophy of life. Somehow they judge inner beauty. There's so much here. There's so much more, so we want to get into this, but we also want to get into all the good work that Beth is doing on other fronts, because she's an amazing woman doing really good, important work in other areas. Beth, I got to tell you this is like a rabbit hole. 

03:52 - Stacey Grant (Host)
I did not know I needed to go down. He was texting me like I can't believe how fascinating I am. 

03:57 - Mark Lubragge (Host)
I was 100%, but I'm so glad I went down that hole. 

04:04 - Stacey Grant (Host)
What was your first pageant and why did you sign up for it? 

04:07 - Beth Leska (Guest)
So my first one was in 2003. It was Mrs New Jersey, america. That was my first one and I went in it really because I wanted to focus on personal goals for myself, get back in shape, reconnect with myself. I was a novice. I mean, there really is something to be said for if you're just starting out, um you, and if you still could be the winner just starting out. But there is a lot of there's a learning curve. I think to to being a contestant. When I started in 2003, I ended up being fourth runner up and I was like, oh, but bad for your first out. 

04:42 - Mark Lubragge (Host)
Not bad, my first outing. 

04:43 - Beth Leska (Guest)
But what I aside from that, I realized how positive an experience it was for me and the personal best that I gained out of it. Yeah, go down that road. 

04:53
I want to hear more about that, so I mean it really got me to think about well, who am I, what do I believe in? Yeah, it got me to focus on me, get back in the gym, get yourself together, Get your mind together, and I also ended up meeting some really wonderful people who are still my dear friends to this day. You know, it becomes like a second family. 

05:15 - Mark Lubragge (Host)
These are other contestants, other contestants. So I've always said, you know, you watch, like, say, miss America. They're 18, 19, 20 years old and people say, oh well, they're just vapid, or they're just all about the swimsuit, it's all about looks I I world peace. I have met many of them. They're some of the most articulate, intelligent, goal-driven women you'd ever want to meet that and I'll tell you so. 

05:36 - Beth Leska (Guest)
I have a group of girlfriends. We call ourselves the pageant posse because we all met through doing this activity together and we're sister queens. We will so different years as title holders, so it's become, but they've become, such a very important fabric of my life and they all are extremely driven, successful, kind-hearted, funny. They're indispensable. They really are. There's really great people in this activity For people that are thinking about doing it, women that think well, maybe I want to try it, try it, find a pageant that has a vision and a mission that you like. 

06:16 - Stacey Grant (Host)
And I love what you said about your pageant posse, because I think there's a connotation that, well, you've seen movies and you've seen, you know, sure. Well, you've seen movies and you've seen, you know, sure, and you've heard stories about the fact that the women can be super catty and negative and nasty. But that's. You're debunking that myth here, right? 

06:37 - Beth Leska (Guest)
Absolutely. I, you know, I always say pageantry is a small microcosm of life and if you think about, like your life at the office, you're going to all different kinds of people and all different walks of life and all different attitudes. It's it's not, it's just taking those people and putting them together in a pageant. Everybody's different. But you know, I just recently this doing Miss Senior America. Everybody was wonderful. There were some really, really talented women there. So it was, it was it was fun for me to watch. I was sitting, you know, when it wasn't my turn to be on stage. I was like sitting there watching. It was a lot of fun. 

07:10 - Mark Lubragge (Host)
Because I know the interview was a big part of this process. 

07:12 - Beth Leska (Guest)
You know it depends upon where the judges take your questions, so it could be different for everybody and it could be just what's on your biography. Your application just sparks a question. Got it For them. 

07:23 - Mark Lubragge (Host)
How was it for you? What were your questions? 

07:25 - Beth Leska (Guest)
One of them really. They focused on my philosophy of life. So 400 trillion to one, those are your odds of being born, so you have better odds of winning the lottery 10 times in your life. 

07:36 - Mark Lubragge (Host)
So think about that, than being born, than being born. 

07:38 - Beth Leska (Guest)
You've already won, and that's kind of where the premise of my philosophy of life came from, that you know we all have a purpose to be here and we all can accomplish great things, but what we need to understand is the challenges we face are part of that very important part of that journey. Mm-hmm, right, so you know, damn it. 

07:57 - Stacey Grant (Host)
Because you don't. It would be great if you didn't have to have challenges in order to get. 

08:01 - Beth Leska (Guest)
Well, think about what life would be like if you didn't have challenges, Right you have to, it'd be pretty boring. So when were you stuck? I was working on competing for Mrs New Jersey, united States in 2004. And that's when I finally came to that realization that I had to just let go of the things that were in the back of my mind and I won Mrs New Jersey, united States. Mrs New Jersey. 

08:24 - Stacey Grant (Host)
United States 2004. Sitting right here, folks with us. That's awesome. That had to feel amazing. 

08:29 - Beth Leska (Guest)
Like you set this goal. 

08:30 - Mark Lubragge (Host)
If self-doubt is an issue, I would think joining a pageant, right Right, yeah, really like baptism by fire, because now you're on stage, you're being interviewed, you're in an evening gown, you have to show off a talent. 

08:50 - Beth Leska (Guest)
Pageantry is. It is really something that you have to have a mindset and you really need to to like, you need to practice you want to look at the audience right because your audience there to see you. 

08:57
So you want to look at the audience, you want to connect right with the person in row 10. Now, if you have to do a talent, then you have to practice that. Obviously some don't, some pageants don't have talent for the missus division. And then there's a and obviously interviews. I have judged pageants too, of like, say, the teen and the miss. 

09:12 - Stacey Grant (Host)
Okay, here we go. 

09:14 - Beth Leska (Guest)
Those young ladies could wipe up the floor with almost anybody in an interview. 

09:19 - Stacey Grant (Host)
I'm sure. 

09:20 - Beth Leska (Guest)
They are incredible. They know how to let me know who they are. I can honestly understand who they are, what they believe in and where they, what their goals are and where they want to be. In four minutes, succinct, clear, it's, it's incredible. 

09:34 - Mark Lubragge (Host)
You have to practice. 

09:35 - Beth Leska (Guest)
You do, because you have to understand, okay who am I, what do I stand for? Why am I here today? What do I want to accomplish? Yeah, right, and so it's that's, and that's any kind of interview, if you think about it. 

09:46 - Mark Lubragge (Host)
When you go for a job interview. 

09:48 - Beth Leska (Guest)
But I always you know it's funny I've had people say, oh well, you know I can't like they didn't understand. I'm like let me tell you, I could put a 15-year-old pageant contestant in the room, compete, you know, up against anybody for a job, and they would probably get the job. 

10:03 - Mark Lubragge (Host)
Yeah. 

10:03 - Beth Leska (Guest)
Because they're just so good at knowing who they are and being able to express that and share it. It's not that they're fake they're honestly showing who they are, but they're doing it in a very clear and succinct manner. 

10:17 - Mark Lubragge (Host)
Let's let's like, tear the roof off. What was the most unexpected? I had no idea that existed in the world of pageants. 

10:24 - Beth Leska (Guest)
That's a good one. 

10:26 - Mark Lubragge (Host)
Hey guys, thanks for listening. If you like what you're hearing, leave us a review, give us a follow, subscribe, subscribe. All those things, all those things. We love it because we read each and every comment and it helps shape the show, so we would appreciate it please, and back to the show they're really. 

10:43 - Beth Leska (Guest)
If I think about it, I don't think anything that really surprised me. What I think I learned is or I know that I learned was it's a sport. 

10:52 - Mark Lubragge (Host)
It really is a sport. 

10:53 - Beth Leska (Guest)
So no different than if you're preparing for I mean, then everybody, it's all different. I get it right. So every sport is a different discipline to it, but it's still something you have to prepare for. It's still something that you have to make sure that you're presenting at your very best. It's still something that you have to make sure that you're presenting at your very best. So I don't think, I, I think. I was very surprised, though, by the amount of coaching out coaches out there, you know, and really they're great life coaches. 

11:20
Yeah, and the specialty of specialty jewelry. You can't just buy any jewelry, it's pageant jewelry. 

11:27 - Stacey Grant (Host)
Well, you have to buy pageant jewelry. 

11:29 - Beth Leska (Guest)
You know there, there's know it's different, right Pageant jewelry is different from, say, jewelry. 

11:34 - Stacey Grant (Host)
You'd wear every day. Would it be bigger or how? 

11:36 - Beth Leska (Guest)
is it different? Big sparkle, a lot of glitter, a lot of sparkle. 

11:40 - Mark Lubragge (Host)
How do they judge inner beauty? I was fascinated by that concept. 

11:44 - Beth Leska (Guest)
I think it's how the you can sense it. I think it's how the you can sense it. I think, when you're because I've been a judge. 

11:49 - Stacey Grant (Host)
No, I'm sad. She actually might say a nice thing. I think you'd feel you can feel someone's. 

11:58 - Mark Lubragge (Host)
I'm listening to that I'm sorry go ahead. 

12:00 - Beth Leska (Guest)
Honestly, I think you can feel if someone's a good person, right, you can tell if they really mean what they say. I agree. You can just feel the goodness in them. I mean, you just know. You just kind of know when you're sitting down talking. How do they look? Do they have good eye contact and you can tell? Do they mean what they say or are they just saying what they think you want to hear? 

12:27 - Stacey Grant (Host)
Are there politics involved? I know you're going to say no. No, there really isn't. There has to be something. There has to be no honestly. 

12:33 - Mark Lubragge (Host)
There's politics in everything Honestly. 

12:37 - Beth Leska (Guest)
they're very careful about not having that happen. That's good they really are, because that would just tarnish their brand Right True who would want to join their pageant. 

12:51 - Mark Lubragge (Host)
What was happening in 86? In the army, that was a. 

12:53 - Stacey Grant (Host)
Cold War still so you decided I'm going to go into the service. 

12:58 - Beth Leska (Guest)
Yeah, and I had a four-year degree from Westchester University. I graduated and was teaching. I was like I'm not sure this is what I want to do the rest of my life, only 22 years old, and I guess it's the shock of this is the career you picked and there you go. It was career day, um, at the school was teaching and um, the recruiters were there and I just started talking to them and they just felt this calling like I just felt. 

13:28
You never think to yourself unless, yeah, there are kids who grow up saying I'm going to be in the military, but not everybody does that. You just end up all of a sudden you have this call and you're like boy, that sounds like I'd really be a good thing for me and I would really enjoy doing that. 

13:44 - Stacey Grant (Host)
There's a story, so Beth is a badass, just so you know. 

13:48 - Beth Leska (Guest)
So back in 86, the ratio of males to females in the Army MP Corps was 3 to 1. Their thought process was you're a military police officer, you're not the person you're chasing, like the suspect is not going to cut you slack because you're female, yeah, right, so you need to step it up. And the Army hadn't been integrated that long and the Women's Army Corps had not been dissolved. I think it got dissolved, like maybe in the early 80s, late 70s, so this was a whole new frontier, yeah, and so you had to. You had to bring it. I knew very quickly when I got to military police school. It's like, yeah, okay, so they're gonna chew you up real fast if you don't step up. Mps are considered the soldier, soldier sure we're there to serve them. 

14:34
You know, I had situations where a young soldier must have lived on the post and he was flying and I was running radar that day and he was flying so I pulled and he pulled over and I felt so bad because I got out of the car he's pointing to the back seat and his baby was in the back seat with a golf ball size welt on his head he must have fallen down the stairs or something. 

14:57
So of course he was. He was on his way to the hospital so I was like, look, I can't let you, got to follow me. Yeah, I can't let you just be flying through the streets of you know the post. Let me, let me. So I took him there let's talk about your platform. 

15:10 - Stacey Grant (Host)
What should the us be doing for dementia caregivers, or caregivers in general, that they're not doing now? I am a caregiver myself. 

15:18 - Beth Leska (Guest)
And I can tell you that, if I think back on it, there is no awareness or education in this country about long-term care, whether it's dementia or whatever else. Right, there's no. You get told save for retirement, here's your Social Security statement, here's the money that you can expect to receive. But is there anywhere on that Social Security statement that it tells you you need to understand long-term care, what it means for you, right? 

15:46 - Stacey Grant (Host)
Nothing. Do you have long-term care insurance, do you? No, I don't. I don't either. My mother does, I don't either. Yeah, does? 

15:58 - Beth Leska (Guest)
I don't either. Yeah, but that's, and the cost of long-term care is astronomical. And what ends up happening is because, look, most of the average American has trouble saving for retirement let alone saving for long-term care. 

16:08
And the cost of long-term care ends up being if you can't afford it, then someone's quitting their job to stay home and take care of that person, which can destroy but you know them the caregiver as well, yeah, but then the ca. The question is well, how do you, how do you pay for it? I mean, the cost of insurance is high and, yeah, that they do their best. Insurance companies do the best to make products that you that are, that can be affordable, but at the end of the day it's expensive. And if you don't have the coverage and then you get sick and you need long-term care, the average cost just for my dementia care, it's about $10,000, $11,000 a month. Wow. 

16:52 - Stacey Grant (Host)
How many people will need long-term care in the future? 

16:56 - Beth Leska (Guest)
Because it's, something. 

16:57 - Stacey Grant (Host)
I never thought about until you and I spoke One in four. So one in four people. Wow, 25%. So one, two, three about. 

17:05 - Beth Leska (Guest)
There's about 6 million, I think. I think the statistic was about 6 million people right now in the country are have dementia, need dementia care and and 46 of all that cost medicaid pays for. That's stressing the medicaid system, which should be is really earmarked for maybe people who don't maybe don't have it health insurance and need the care something's got to give, and it's first. It's got to be educating. When you're 20 and 30, you need to be thinking about this can you define what long-term care is? 

17:35
so, yeah, long-term care is let's just focus on dementia for a minute, Cause that's that's like the most prominent one where that person can no longer take care of themselves at home. They can't. They've lost the ability to bathe, walk, talk, eat. Executive functioning is is done. They literally can't do what we call those daily living activities right. They can't get them done, and when it gets to that point, someone's got to do it for them, and then, if you can't afford to have someone in the memory care center, you're going to have to be the caregiver because they can't that person? 

18:15
who's who has the dementia can't do those things for themselves. So full-time memory care is depends upon the state, but like you know, new Jersey it's. You know 10,000, 11,000. I mean it's expensive. 

18:28 - Stacey Grant (Host)
So what's the solution? Beth Laska. 

18:30 - Beth Leska (Guest)
My idea is right. So we all pay Social Security tax and we're happy to you know you work to take it out. It's your Social Security, medicaid, medicare tax, right? What if we all did an extra dollar, just $1. And I've asked a lot of people like, oh, I'd do $5, right, but what if you just did one extra dollar out of your paycheck and it went to a long-term care fund? 

19:01 - Mark Lubragge (Host)
Would you do that? I mean, I would, but I'm thinking about people that are making 725 an hour. 

19:04 - Beth Leska (Guest)
Well, right, and, and I and I think that good question and that's and I've thought about that too and it's like it's a big. It's going to take a lot smarter people than me to figure out how that works, you're awesome. 

19:12 - Mark Lubragge (Host)
So you have a lot of good inner beauty. 

19:13 - Stacey Grant (Host)
I can tell, yeah, she's got total inner beauty and how can we support you and your cause and how can the audience support the cause? 

19:20 - Beth Leska (Guest)
well, when I finally get a chance to talk to the right people and hopefully a bill starts there's a bill starts percolating, then I'll have everybody get on their phone so this is what I'm hoping for. I'm hoping that maybe the first thing. I mean, I don't think there needs to be a bill to put the awareness on a social security statement. 

19:38 - Mark Lubragge (Host)
I think that's just a change in printing Right, right, right, but the other part, that's a good first step. 

19:44 - Beth Leska (Guest)
That's a good first step, yes, and so maybe that'd be to say, hey, everybody needs to get statement online every month. So because my my thought is, if it's online, you can click on the long-term care statement. 

20:00 - Mark Lubragge (Host)
It's got hyperlinks to educational material. You thought this through. Love it. Well, good luck with the plan, yes, and thanks for having thanks for having me on. Oh, my God, thanks for being here with us. 

20:12 - Beth Leska (Guest)
You're still here. 

20:18 - Stacey Grant (Host)
You're still here. You're still listening. Thanks for listening to the gurus and game changers podcast While you're here. If you enjoyed it, please take a minute to rate this episode and leave us a quick review. We want to know what you thought of the show and what you took from it and how it might've helped you. We read and appreciate every comment. Thanks, See you next week.