2 Words That Make You (And Your Kids) More Confident

"I am ___."

How you finish that sentence determines everything. When Mark Papadas, "The Be Great Guy," asked fifth graders to complete it, 50% wrote: "I am fat," "I am stupid," "I am ugly." Adults? 80% just said their name and job title—labels that have nothing to do with who they really are.

After training adults for over a decade working with Tony Robbins, Mark discovered his true mission: teaching people how to create confident, empowered identities using just two words—"I am."

What You'll Learn:

• Why "I am" is the foundation of confidence (and how most people get it wrong)
• The shocking discovery: 50% of kids think they're fat, stupid, or ugly
• How parents accidentally program negative identities without realizing it
• Mark's powerful 2-minute morning practice (he shares his complete version at 17:44)
• The 5-step process to build unshakeable confidence
• Why "wrong means right" and how to make fear fun
• The 3 traits kids have that adults need back: persistence, curiosity, and ingenuity

Mark's Journey: After being beaten regularly by his older brother as a child, Mark became hungry for personal development. He ran operations for Tony Robbins' Chicago franchise before his epiphany: teach these tools to kids BEFORE they develop baggage.

His "I Am For Kids" program is in 37 schools across 9 states, producing 40% grade increases and 60% reductions in disciplinary problems.

Connect with Mark: 📚 Book: "10 Secrets to Empower Kids and Awaken the Child in You" 🌐 iam4kids.com 🎤 thebegreatguy.com

#Confidence #Parenting #PersonalDevelopment #TonyRobbins #GrowthMindset

0:00 - Cold Open
0:29 - Introduction: Meet The Be Great Guy
1:14 - Where "Be Great" Came From
2:30 - The Shocking "I Am" Discovery in Schools
4:52 - Why Kids (and Adults) Think They're Fat, Stupid, or Ugly
6:57 - Mark's Difficult Childhood: The Brother Who Beat Him
9:24 - How Pain Led to Personal Development
10:43 - From Earl Nightingale to Tony Robbins
11:50 - Running Tony Robbins' Chicago Office
13:00 - The Epiphany: Teaching Kids Before They Get Baggage
14:52 - The Five-Step Identity Process Explained
17:44 - Mark's Complete 2-Minute "I Am" Statement (MUST LISTEN)
20:31 - How "I Am" Statements Should Work
22:45 - The Neuroplasticity Connection
24:09 - Step 1: Write It (The Honest Starting Point)
25:00 - Step 2: Revise and Improve It
26:15 - Step 3: Anchor and Believe It
27:30 - Step 4: Share and Synergize It
28:00 - Step 5: Live It (The Lifelong Project)
29:15 - Secret #2: Make Fear Fun
31:20 - Secret #3: Wrong Means Right
33:53 - The "What Else?" Question That Changes Everything
35:10 - How Parents Accidentally Hurt Kids' Confidence
38:00 - Don't Let Them Win (But Give Fair Advantages)
40:36 - The 3 Traits Kids Are Born With (That Adults Lost)
42:00 - Persistence: Kids Never Quit Learning to Walk
42:45 - Curiosity: When You Lose It, Horizons Become Walls
43:30 - Ingenuity: Why Kids Prefer the Box to the Gift
44:20 - Cellular Regeneration: Every 7 Years You're New
45:15 - Mark's Programs: Schools, Academy, Family Coaching
46:21 - Where to Find Mark and Final Thoughts
47:55 - Outro

📱 FOLLOW US:
📲 Connect with Our Hosts:
Stacey: https://www.instagram.com/staceymgrant/
Mark: https://www.instagram.com/mark_lubragge_onair/

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Transcript

00:02 - Stacey (Host)
Mark Papadus, mark Papadus. He works with kids to make them feel empowered. 

00:07 - Stacey (Host)
Feel so empowered that he has the name the Be Great Guy. The Be Great Guy. 

00:12 - Mark (Host)
How about? 

00:12 - Stacey (Host)
that. 

00:12 - Stacey (Host)
Yeah, he wrote a book. 

00:13 - Mark (Host)
Wrote a book. 

00:14 - Stacey (Host)
It's called 10 Secrets to Empower Kids and Awaken the Child in you which you need more of that child. 

00:20 - Mark (Host)
I have a child. You need some child. I don't bring it to this studio. 

00:26 - Stacey (Host)
I want Childish Mark to come in, childish Mark, let's have some fun. 

00:29 - Mark (Host)
Anyway. So how much time do you think you spent with your kids when they were little, trying to empower them? Like I don't think this is a common thing. 

00:36
And he was saying, like age eight and above is when they can really start to change their self-identity and the way they talk to themselves, the way they define themselves. He empowers kids to change how they define themselves, how they see themselves, because he knows that when you make that a positive because apparently from what I see, kids are kind of negative about themselves Can be yeah, but if you change that it can actually transform their lives. 

00:59 - Stacey (Host)
That's his goal. That's what he's done. Let's talk to him. Hi, I'm Stacey. 

01:04 - Mark (Host)
And I am Mark, and this is the Gurus of Game Changers podcast. 

01:11 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
Mark, welcome to the show. Buddy, Welcome to the show. Thank you for having me. It's a pleasure to be here. 

01:14 - Stacey (Host)
Mark, talked about your moniker, the B-grade guy. Where did that come from? 

01:18 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
Yeah, so it's something that is the cornerstone for my book, the 10 Secrets to Empower Kids and Awaken the Child in you. Anytime I leave interaction with whether it be my own kids when they were younger, whether it's a client child or somebody I'm working with in a classroom is I always end the conversation with be great, and they in turn have to respond. I am with enthusiasm, and when done over a period of time, they actually. It uses the neuroplasticity of the mind-body connection to literally wire into their brains that they are great. So they're no longer just saying it's not a platitude, it literally becomes part of who they are. 

02:03 - Stacey (Host)
Ah, that's wonderful, that's really cool, can I? Just tell one quick story. Yeah, tell it. So I was in sales. I've been in sales for years and years and years. But my first manager who made an impression on me, I would say to him okay, what do I need to do today to really make the sale? And he said go be great. So I totally align with what you're trying to do. It's just go be great. There's nothing else you need to know, right? 

02:28 - Mark (Host)
I love that you brought up that. 

02:30 - Stacey (Host)
I am because. 

02:30 - Mark (Host)
I remember in the research I was doing you had said at one point you had students write down I think it was fifth grade, write down I am and that you were shocked that I think the number was nearly 50% of them put something negative. 

02:43 - Stacey (Host)
Oh, no, multiple times. 

02:45 - Mark (Host)
I'm fat, I'm lazy. I forget the words you used, but that's a shocking number to me. 

02:51 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
Yeah, it was to us as well. 

02:53
I mean, we knew that there was an identity crisis, but we didn't realize how bad it was until we got into those pilot classrooms. And so, to be clear, the process, the five-step process that I teach, it's the same five steps whether you're talking about doing it with adults or with kids. It's just how it's taught. That's different. And the very first step is they're given a blank sheet of paper that just says I am on it, and when I did it with adults, over 80 of the time they answered either with their name and or their occupation, really, which has nothing to do with who you are right, your standards or anything like that. It's just a label your parents gave you when you were born and what you do for a living. The kids we expected them to answer with one word answers, because that's how kids answer questions, right. How was school today Good? So we expected that, but, like I said, half the time it was a negative traitor characteristic and the three most common were I am fat, I am stupid or I am ugly. 

03:52 - Stacey (Host)
Why do you think that is? 

03:55 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
I think the biggest part of it. It has to do with the parents. Not the parents, but the adults around them. And I'm not saying that the parents are, you know, point looking down at him and saying you know you're fat, you're stupid and you're ugly. Most parents don't necessarily. They don't recognize the input, the, the effect that they have on their children. 

04:15
Same thing with teachers, coaches, the, the people that the kids literally, because they're short, look up to and think about a time when you might just be talking to a friend of yours and like, oh, I feel so fat today, right, you know, I'm just, I don't feel pretty today. Or you know, hey, did you see so-and-so? You know she looks like she's put on 10 pounds, kind of thing, right, where you're just having a conversation that you might just be saying in jest, but the kids don't know that, so that's the language that then winds up making it into their psyche. And if they think that way, like let's just say you're making a joke about a friend of yours and that child thinks that that person is pretty, and you say like you know, oh, you look so ugly today, ha ha, ha, right, and you guys know that, know that it's a joke, but they're like I think she's really pretty, and if she's ugly, then what does that make me Wow? 

05:09
You got to watch your words right. We've always heard that as parents. 

05:12 - Mark (Host)
But while we're on this topic, I definitely want to get into how to make kids feel the good way right how to empower them and to, but you're already talking about an obstacle to that right With the parents. One of my questions I had was what is the biggest obstacle? Is it parents? Is it other kids? Is it the circumstances of their life? What stops kids from feeling this? 

05:38 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
amazing feeling that you're hoping that you teach them to feel. 

05:39
I think the biggest part of it is that they haven't been taught. 

05:43
Okay, is that they haven't been taught, and what I mean by that is that, when I had my epiphany of basically taking all the things that I had been teaching to the so-called grown-ups for over a decade, is that if I can take those strategies, those passions, and actually get them to a point in a person's life where they don't have that baggage that we were talking about, if they're just blank slates, if we can get it to them when they're like in second through fifth grade, when they're developing that cognitive thought process that it'll last the rest of their life, and if we can get them empowered now, those tough decisions that they have to make usually it's when they get to middle school, because I don't care what if you're in the worst of worst neighborhoods. Generally speaking, the younger kids get a pass before they start to be recruited into the gangs and stuff like that. Granted, it's starting to happen younger and younger that timeout, if you will, for those kids. So once they're taught it, these kids embrace it, they love it. 

06:41 - Stacey (Host)
So I do want to get to the process, but I also kind of want to talk about how you got here. So I do want to get to the process, but I also kind of want to talk about how you got here. So I know I had read that you had a difficult childhood and that's one of the reasons why you're here now. 

06:57 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
But do you maybe want to talk to us about how you ended up being the Be Great guy? Sure, I mean, if you want me to start off with the childhood part of it, it was—I'm sure there's people who had it a lot rougher than I did. If you had to say describe our socioeconomic status, I would say we grew up upper lower class. I mean, both my parents worked, but I never missed a meal. I got to play Little League. 

07:16
A lot of the time we went shopping we was like at the secondhand store kind of stuff, so it wasn't so much bad as far as that's concerned. The biggest part of it was that I'm the youngest of three boys by six years, so I didn't necessarily get to hang around with my brothers and one of my brothers basically used to beat on me for sport. The story that I remember most was when I was meeting my father's half brother for the first time. He was just coming home from Vietnam. We had never met him before and less than a week prior my brother beat me up so bad that I was so bruised that I remember him asking my mother if I was born with birth defects. 

07:55 - Stacey (Host)
Oh, my God. 

07:57 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
Yeah, but to a certain extent to take the positive out of that, it's that I would say that that probably made me more mentally tough, even though I didn't necessarily realize it at the time, and I think that's also part of why, when I was exposed to the, the personal development tools that they just you know, hit home and I just embraced them and it was just a glutton for more and more and more Right. 

08:23 - Mark (Host)
Just as an aside as grownups, did you guys ever reconcile this? Did you ever have a conversation, or is he still in your life? 

08:30 - Stacey (Host)
The brother. 

08:30 - Mark (Host)
How do you close that if he just beat you up for fun? 

08:36 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
We started to reconcile when I got old enough to where I could fight back and stop him. Right, we did. You know it's still something that's out there, at the risk of oversharing. He's actually in prison right now. So you know we communicate usually by email kind of stuff, but we'll never be as close as you know some other brothers are. 

08:58 - Mark (Host)
Sure sure sure? 

08:59 - Stacey (Host)
So I mean, he was a flawed, flawed kid. There was stuff going on up there. Did your parents get involved? Or like, oh my God, mark's getting so beat up. Like let's figure out a way to make that stop. 

09:11 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
They tried, you know, and they would stop for a while, so it wasn't. It's not like it happened every day, but when it happened, it happened. 

09:19 - Mark (Host)
Man that fueled part of your, your vocation here. 

09:24 - Stacey (Host)
Yeah, I think so yeah. So after that, then you ended up working with Tony Robbins. 

09:31 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
Tony used to have for lack of a better term franchises that he awarded to some of his top trainers. So I actually ran the operations for the Chicago office for one of his top trainers who had that Chicago franchise, really grew that out and then basically Tony decided to kind of pull all of that back into the you know the fold, so to speak. So now those people are more just like affiliates as opposed to franchisees. 

09:58 - Stacey (Host)
Oh okay. So how did you first find Tony? Was it his methods that you first found that you were like? Oh, I am really vibing with this. 

10:07 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
Tony was one of the first. Earl Nightingale if you're familiar with that name, he's he's. As far as I'm concerned, he and Zig Ziglar are the OGs when it comes to this, so both of them really got to me. I would say. Probably the number one that hit me the most was Earl Nightingale, and I think part of it just has to do with his voice. I never actually saw the videos of him. I had listened to his audio books and that voice just penetrates into your soul, kind of thing. 

10:37 - Stacey (Host)
Yeah, so do you remember when it hit you that you wanted to do this too? 

10:43 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
I think, to a certain extent, I always wanted to and let me explain what I mean by that, not necessarily knowing that it was going to be for personal development, but when I was in high school, getting ready to go to college, guidance counselors are always like, well, what do you want to do? And I was basically saying that I wanted to be, I wanted to be a teacher, and they were like, no, you don't. It was like there's no money in it. You know, it's a thankless job, all that kind of stuff. And these are people that I liked and trusted and respected. 

11:13
So, okay, maybe I don't want to do this. So I went more into business, got my degree in marketing, but I've always been that glutton I can't tell you the last novel that I read, but I'm always reading something, listening to something podcasts, videos, you name it about personal development. There's something that I can apply for myself or that I can then funnel on through to the kids, and so I think I've always been that teacher, that coach, that trainer at heart, and this just happened to be the mission that found me. 

11:50 - Mark (Host)
Do you have? While you're on that topic, do you have a book or two that come to mind as like very powerful to serve this goal? 

11:59 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
So there's several. Once again, one of the classics is uh, uh, you know how to win friends and influence people. Um, there's one that, uh, I've given out to to several different people when we're just talking about communication it's how to make people like you in 90 seconds or less. Uh, earl Nightingale's lead the field is is right up there. Um, tony Robbins unleashed the power within. Now, I think that's a better seminar than a book. Not to say the book isn't great, but experiencing the seminar if you haven't walked across fire, it's something you should try, but only with the guidance of a professional. So, yeah, there's so many that would be really hard. We'd probably take up the rest of the time if I listed all of them. 

12:45 - Stacey (Host)
Yeah, that's good stuff. So what made you realize these tools that you found with Tony Robbins and Zig, ziglar and Earl? Nightingale would be translatable to kids. And how did you come up with that whole idea? 

13:00 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
Well, anything is translatable to kids, it's just a question of how you communicate it with them. Well, anything is translatable to kids, it's just a question of how you communicate it with them and how I came up with the idea. I like to say that it was more like it found me, kind of a divine download, if you will. I had an epiphany a number of years back where the back story behind it is my youngest child, my son, had played youth football. After the season was over, a bunch of the coaches just got together for a beer or two, just a little camaraderie kind of thing, and one of my son's coaches came over and just started going off on this positive rant about my son, about how he's a great kid, he's a natural leader, he's coachable, all these compliments. And then I did something that we all do but we never admit to, and that's that I kind of mentally checked out of the conversation and I started thinking it's like wouldn't it be great if everybody could have these types of conversations about their kids? So what could I do about that? Then I realized he was still talking. So I, you know, I re-engaged and I know I mean I'm getting goosebumps just telling the story right now is that I know that that was a trigger for what happened later that night. 

14:06
When I went home, I got in bed, I was in that stage of sleep, you know, before you hit REM, when it was literally just like lightning struck. It's like, hey, dummy, you know this stuff, you've been teaching it for years. All you have to do is put it in a format that will engage and entertain kids and they'll just eat it up, in a format that will engage and entertain kids and they'll just eat it up. And it was literally like in the movies, you know, where the light shines through the window, the ah, you know kind of thing, where it just started to download into my head and, unlike those times where we have great ideas and we I'll write them down in the morning, I was like I got it. I was so energized, I got it, got up, went downstairs, got out a legal pad and just started writing and about six hours later, how about 80% of what I am for kids is today came from that night. So, like I said, I have to say it found me. 

14:52 - Mark (Host)
It's pretty cool. Yeah, I love that. So what's your goal then? With um, you're working with one kid or a group of kids. What's the first thing? 

14:59 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
you want them to start to put them on the path's the first step they need to take well, to me, the foundation of everything that we teach and this is true again for for kids or adults is their I am statement. Okay, we all have one problem is most people haven't given any conscious thought, so they're not aware of what their I am statement is, because they didn't create it, so it's just the loudest voices that are in their orbit that have created it for them, right? So that's why it's all about when we can get them to have that empowered I am statement and have something that's detailed, you know, something that's just not. I am great, I am awesome, I am this or I am that. Okay, you can have that as part of it, you know, but mine, that I say every morning it usually takes me about a minute and a half to two minutes to do, because I have an I am statement for every important part of my life. 

15:51 - Mark (Host)
So you know it's interesting, I I think people just act in accordance with their beliefs, right? Their identity of who I am, like I'm not a smoker, so you'll never see me engage in the behavior of smoking, right? But we never challenge that to your point. We never challenge. Is that who I am? Let me think it through, not a smoker Right. 

16:09 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
No, no, just not that, but as an adult. 

16:11 - Mark (Host)
We don't challenge that. But how do you get kids to critically think? 

16:17 - Stacey (Host)
get kids to critically think that seems really difficult. 

16:19 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
And how do you know what you are when you're a kid? Yeah Well, that's the great thing about your I am statement is it adapts, it's going to change throughout your life. Okay, so what we talk about is it's is the analogy that we use in in the program that's in the schools and it's also in the book is kind of think of yourself as you want to create the character, like if you were an actor, right, and you were in a movie and you're living the movie, you're going to create the character that you want to play. So how would my character react when this happens? When that happens type of thing, you know, is my character a you know, a strong, honest person, or is my you know my character a little weaselly type of a person who will take you for whatever they can take you for, kind of thing? 

17:04
Now, kids don't necessarily think that way through. So, again, we're going to be using the language that is in their habitual vocabulary. The only restrictions that we put on that is that it has to be in positive language. So, in other words, for, for example, with you, mark, I would correct you by saying is that you are, it's not that you are not a smoker is that you are a non smoker, right, okay, it's a distinction, but it's a powerful one. 

17:33 - Mark (Host)
That's why we do the show. 

17:34 - Stacey (Host)
So um what's your? 

17:40 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
I am statement you don't have to give me the whole thing, but how does yours start? 

17:42 - Stacey (Host)
Okay, If you're comfortable with sharing it. 

17:44 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
I'm absolutely comfortable with sharing it. I am a magnificent man with an abundance of gifts to offer anyone willing to accept them. I'm a messenger of happiness and success. I'm a man who brings excitement, love and devotion to his romantic relationships. I'm a committed father who loves his children and grandchildren with the intensity of a thousand sons and therefore must set the example for them. I'm a person with flaws and I'm committed to overcoming those flaws so that I will have even more to give. I'm loved by those close to me and I'm full of love and gratitude for those people being in my life. I am a billionaire whose accounts have yet to be fully funded. I'm a world-class athlete. I'm an attractive person, both physically and spiritually. I'm driven to achieve my definition of success. I'm disciplined to maintain the regiment needed to achieve my goals. I'm a genius capable of creating things that change people's lives. I am a charismatic leader who attracts outstanding people. I'm a believer. I'm a force for good. I'm one who defies the odds. I am Mark Pappadis. 

18:55 - Stacey (Host)
Wow, damn. 

18:57 - Mark (Host)
That was like confirmation central there. I love that. 

19:01 - Stacey (Host)
So you kind of want to be a little you say that every day. Every morning. So you kind of want to be a little bit aspirational, I guess in your I am statement. 

19:11 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
The billionaire? Yeah, and that's why, because obviously I'm not a billionaire yet, but I truly believe that that is what is in my future. So I would say it's not so much aspirational as much as it is living up to what I decide. 

19:28 - Stacey (Host)
Vision. It's kind of like the secret a little bit yeah. Yeah, wow, that's awesome. So the I am is the first thing. Then what are the other processes? 

19:38 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
Okay. So the five steps that they go through is the first one is to to write it Okay. So this is where you haven't given it any thought beforehand and that's usually where some of the honesty comes out that this is how I really do think about myself as an. Okay, I'm a loser. I thought that I'm fat, I'm stupid, I'm ugly, like it is from we got from the kids in the pilot classrooms, etc. So the second step is to revise and improve it. Okay, so that we say that that doesn't have to be. This is the great thing is you get to to decide how you, what you're going to do, how you're going to do it, okay. The next step is, once you revise and improve it, is you want to anchor it? Okay, believe it and anchor it. And that's where we use so that whole mind-body connection, the if you're familiar with the psychological term of anchoring, it's to where it literally becomes part of who you are. So that's anchor and believe it. 

20:31
The fourth step is to share and synergize it. So it's not just enough to have it for yourself, you need to share it with the rest of the world. And then the fifth step is to share and synergize it. So it's not just enough to have it for yourself. You need to share it with the rest of the world. And then the fifth step is to live it, to be that person every single day. And the lifelong homework for step number five is that you have to come up with a project that embodies the identity that you've created for yourself. It could be anything that you want it to be. The only rule that we put on it is that it has to benefit somebody other than just yourself. So, in case you haven't figured it out, I am for kids is my, I am project. Wow. 

21:12 - Mark (Host)
How about that Damn so. I mean kids are pretty receptive to. It sounds like a lot of work for kids, right? So keeping their attention, what we talked about um combining Anthony Robbins or Tony Robbins with Charlie Brown to take those messages and make them, you know, approachable to kids. How do you do that so that they are receptive to five steps, right? 

21:36 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
So the the the initial thing that we came up with was our school program and that's been out for a number of years. It's in 37 different schools across nine states and gets great results. And what it's done is it's designed to sit on top of the curriculum in second through fifth grades and when we were designing it and getting input from educators, et cetera, it works best if they just take an afternoon and just run through the whole thing. But we understand that there's different time constraints and in certain states and stuff like that, that you can only spend so much time on this or that you have to go on to the next thing. So we broke it down into the five steps so you can do one every day, for example, over the course of a week. Okay, and what it does is it will. Then, in the teacher's guides, we show them how they can integrate that into the other topics, and the key to this is the repetition, so it's not just telling them something once and then expecting them to implement that for the rest of their lives. So, for example, once they come up with that full identity statement in their workbook that they'll have in their desk is every time they come into the classroom, they read their identity out loud. 

22:50
Okay, and this is especially important for the first three to four weeks of the program, because what this does is because it makes them feel better. They're building that neuroplasticity we were talking about is that it makes them feel better about themselves. And where are they when they're feeling better about themselves? They're in school. So now it anchors school with feeling better about themselves. Okay, so that's part of the reason why the grades increase steadily. Okay, so say, they go out for recess, they come back in, they read the identity. Go for lunch, they come back in, read the identity. Go to gym class, come back in, read the identity, et cetera. Okay, so you do that every day for those first three or four weeks. After that you can just do it once or twice a day, because it has already become literally a part of their soul, if you will. 

23:38 - Mark (Host)
I mean yours were like 10 to 15 statements somewhere around there. Is there a starter number for kids? I imagine they're not coming up with that many. 

23:47 - Stacey (Host)
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24:09 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
One of the most famous questions that I ask is what else? 

24:13 - Mark (Host)
Yeah, what else are you? 

24:16 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
As soon as you just ask them that a lot of times I don't have anything else. I was like, oh really, okay, well, what else? And they come up with something and that works very well with adults as well. But you'd be. It's a very powerful question. 

24:29 - Stacey (Host)
I have a question. Tony Robbins meets Charlie Brown. How did you come up with that? Because isn't Charlie Brown kind of a downer? 

24:39 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
Well, once again, looking at how 50% of the kids answered questions right and the fact that it's predominantly animated, we're launching online family coaching, so we will actually teach not only the kids but the parents and the family. All about the I Am statements. And we're starting up what is called the I Am for Kids Academy, which is all the things as adults that we say you know, why didn't they teach us this in school? I would have been so much better off et cetera, where we're going to be teaching those things, bringing in subject matter experts to teach all of those. So we're literally, you know, an all-encompassing brand is. So we're literally, you know, an all encompassing brand is what we're in the process of launching and we're really excited about, because we've had a lot of traction so far, just in since we incorporated at the end of October of last year. 

25:26 - Stacey (Host)
That's amazing, and you have a book, right, so maybe could parents go buy that book. 

25:32 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
Absolutely. It's available on Amazon. It's the 10 secrets to empower kids and awaken the child in you. If you go to, I am for kidscom, so just like it says on my shirt, okay, I am for kidscom. There's a link there. It'll take you right to the, to the page. But you can also just go there and just put my name in and it'll take you to that. It's available in English and in Spanish. 

25:52 - Stacey (Host)
That's awesome. 

25:53 - Mark (Host)
So I'm aligned with what you're doing, like the positive messaging and all of that I've tried to build into my son, who's 16. I tried to build it in since he could understand words right and we would always say things like hey, what are you proud of that you've done, and what's something a challenge that you met today? Or what are you grateful for what makes you happy? 

26:15
All the positives, right. It's harder to get and it's easy to get those things. It's harder to get to the negatives because you can get them to answer all the positives, but how do you get to? He may still say, what were they? Fat, ugly, lazy. He may still say the negative. But I'm asking for the positive. It doesn't replace the negative. It's still there, right. How do you get to that as a parent? Or how do you get to that so you can exercise that? 

26:42 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
So to a certain extent it can replace the negative. The key to that is that repetition, that consistency from the person implementing it within themselves, but then also from the parents, teachers, et cetera. So I said I would argue that point with you that it's not so much as if you have a thought when you're an eight-year-old that you're going to still have that thought when you're 68. It can be replaced, but it's the anchoring, is the biggest part of that, because the deeper that it's anchored, the more emotion and energy that you put into the anchor it makes those other things. Literally they will disappear and that's a question that's literally at a cellular level. 

27:31 - Stacey (Host)
So you don't necessarily need to know that your child feels ugly. Huh, so you don't necessarily need to know that your child feels ugly. If your child, if you know, or whatever the negative thing is, if you are talking about their positive accomplishments, that could overturn their negative thoughts. 

27:42 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
It just overwrites. It Do I have? 

27:44
that right yeah and this is something that I've experienced myself over the past number of years, going through my divorce and then moving down here and actually basically reinvigorating the I Am For Kids brand is that the cells in our body, so every single cell in our body we're talking brain, heart, skin, whatever they're always dying and regenerating. Now, certain cells die and regenerate faster than others, but with the slowest being your bones, which will regenerate over roughly a seven-year period. So literally every seven years, you are a completely different person than you were seven years ago. Certain parts of you might have been regenerated 20, 30, 40, 50 times, but as a whole, you're a different person than you were seven years ago. 

28:39
So if you're not doing that repetition, part of it, if you're doing that every day, those are the things that are going to stay with you all along your energy levels, et cetera. That's where they're going to be. But if you stop doing some of those things or if you never put those into you and all that is in there is those negative thoughts, those are the ones that are going to be there. So if you can replace them and do that consciously over time, those other ones literally will just, they'll just disappear. Wow. 

29:09 - Stacey (Host)
You don't even need to go and find out the root cause of that and you can just keep being positive. 

29:15 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
Yeah, the root cause will get you there faster. 

29:17 - Stacey (Host)
Right, right yeah. 

29:19 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
And that's why there there's sometimes there's things that were so important to us when we were younger, things that we always remember that. Now, if you haven't had to access that in you know 10 years or so, you're like I used to know that. What is you know? What is that? Oh yeah, that's right. 

29:39 - Stacey (Host)
Well, do you advise some parents when they come in with a child who, let's say, has a lack of confidence, do you ever advise for them to go see a therapist as well, or do you think that your program could really kind of replace that? 

29:48 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
I would never advise somebody to not see a therapist. There are some things that you know we were not qualified to do, so I would say that would depend on what I was seeing from them. So I would say yes and no. I don't mean to give a cop-out answer, but that's the best you're getting today. I think that makes sense. 

30:09 - Stacey (Host)
But if there is somebody with a kid who has low self-esteem or low confidence, what's like one shift that they could do today to help that child. 

30:16 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
A couple of different things. So, number one I guess you said one thing. That's okay, you can say two. First, it was give them the opportunity to be successful at something but don't let them win, so to speak. And I mean when I say not as much like to keep them from winning, but don't let them win, Like if you're playing we've all done this, we played something with our kids, right, and we let them beat us in the race, or they let us, you know, we let them, you know, score more points, kind of stuff. They know that you are physically superior to them and you can beat them right. 

30:50 - Stacey (Host)
See through that yeah. 

30:51 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
Right. But if you build something into, it's like, okay, because of that, I will give you a, you know an advantage. It's like I'll play basketball I'll play you left-handed and I'm right-handed, kind of thing right, that's cool. So that way, if they win, they actually won right right, and what's the second thing? Well, that was actually those. They were one, and two. 

31:12 - Stacey (Host)
They're one, okay, one and two they kind together. Okay. So give them an opportunity to win, but don't let them win Right? Yeah, gotcha, okay. 

31:20 - Mark (Host)
So in my research I saw some of your promotional stuff and you have a phrase that your program can help them unlock 10 powerful secrets to nurture greatness, creativity and resilience. Can you give us one of those powerful secrets? 

31:36 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
Well, we already talked about number one, which is the be great part of it. Got it. And actually the 10 secrets are more for the parents or the teachers, to the adults, et cetera. Sure, so number one is be great. The second one is to make fear fun. And that's because people are afraid to try new things, right, because they don't want to either look silly, they're afraid to fail. But if you can make that quote unquote failure fun, that takes the, it gets them to try it. They still may fail, but if it's fun, then they're willing to go back and try it again. They still may fail, but if it's fun, then they're willing to go back and try it again. 

32:18
Think of little kids. I have three young grandsons. One of them is still crawling, so he doesn't partake in this particular part. But the older two, they're always just like running and jumping and diving on stuff. They're just, you know they're being little boys, right, and they're trying to maybe do like a somersault kind of thing, but they're not doing the somersault perfectly but they're still having fun doing it and they're getting better at doing those things Right. So if you can make the failure fun, that's a big part of it. 

32:43
The other one is. Wrong means right. So there's a lot of times where kids won't either Once again, they won't try something, or they won't ask a question because they're afraid of being wrong. They won't ask a question because they're afraid of being wrong. They won't participate in class, right, you know, hey, class, what is this? And we all see the kids that are kind of doing this, trying to hide behind the one that was, you know, the kid in front of them, so the teacher doesn't see them. Kind of stuff. Wrong meaning right says that okay, well, is framing that thought in that? Okay, well, if you ask me the question and I say no, which is what you're expecting, then that proves that you have the ability to think ahead and you're actually right in thinking that. Or if it's something that's like that's not a big deal, yeah, I'll let you do that. Then they are right because they got what they were looking to do. 

33:33 - Mark (Host)
Interesting. 

33:34 - Stacey (Host)
That's crazy. Yeah, I got to think about that one. Your intellect might be jumping over mine. 

33:42 - Mark (Host)
Stop yourself. 

33:43 - Stacey (Host)
Oh see that. Look, I was just negative. I have to change my IM statement. 

33:48 - Mark (Host)
I can't wait to hear your IM statement. We're going to get to that. 

33:53 - Stacey (Host)
So how young is too young for kids to start this program? What age do they normally start? 

33:57 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
So with the program itself, I would say is about eight years old, cause that's when they were just starting to develop that cognitive thought process, but we're going to be creating things that are easier and what's not quite a program for younger kids though, but that'd probably be a couple of years down the road. Great. 

34:14 - Mark (Host)
Do you have? Obviously, you can transform lives with this right Over the longterm. You have success stories you could share, or is it? Is it hard to say here's a success story, cause it's just a kid just a kid. Well, you know what. 

34:25 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
I mean they're a success story within a kid is not going to be somebody who went out and necessarily, you know, invented something yet to change the world, right, um, but just I would say that the biggest things is is seeing the difference in the kids, of just seeing the, the, the kids who were just like this before, and then afterwards, where they're, just you can see that they're, they're fully animated, they're literally bigger because they're they're trying to live up to that. 

34:55
Um, when we're talking about in the classrooms is that up to 40% of the kids in class grades increase. So we're seeing C students move up to B, et cetera. We don't have access, for privacy reasons, to their standardized test scores, but I'm willing to bet that those increase as well. And then the disciplinary actions in some classrooms went down by as much as 60% because all the teacher needed to do was to remind them are you acting? This is more adult language, but are you acting in alignment with who you are? Okay, no, I'm not. So they kind of understand that they have to kind of get back into character, like we were talking about before. 

35:36 - Mark (Host)
I love this. I love what you're doing. Get back into character. 

35:40 - Stacey (Host)
What surprises you about this? 

35:46 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
That's a good question. Do you mean about like the program and what I teach, or about the reception that we get? 

35:53 - Stacey (Host)
The results or the program or like just so. You took these tools from you know you learned through Tony Robbins and Zig Ziglar and you know Earl Nightingale and then you're applying them to children. Did you see something once you applied them to the kids? That surprised you. 

36:10 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
I'd say no, because to a certain extent I used my own kids and the kids that I coached in Little League and all that kind of stuff as the guinea pigs. So I saw what happened there and that's when I was like, okay, well, this can be bigger, how do I do this? And then, as I learned more stuff and applied more into the programs and the teachings so I guess I'm not surprised by that I'll tell you. You know, what the biggest surprise was was when we were launching the school program. I was shocked by the adversarial relationship between the schools themselves and the administrations. 

36:46 - Stacey (Host)
Oh no. 

36:49 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
It was almost like today's political climate where if I would take it to the schools first like this is amazing. We want to have this in our classrooms, but the administration will never, they'll never, go for it. 

37:01
So I'm like okay, well, let me go to the administrations first. And I went there and they're like yeah, this is amazing, we'd love to put it in, but the teacher's union is going to fight you and you know they're not going to want to do it, et cetera. And so we got to the part where I had to go see them, each separately and secretly, if you will. And then, when they would give me that objection, I'd be like yeah, well, I already talked to the principal at this school and they're ready to do it. So all you have to do is say yes. And then it was kind of hard for them to back out of it after. They already said it was a great idea. That's interesting. 

37:30 - Stacey (Host)
Wow, okay so just like sound. 

37:34 - Mark (Host)
Looking for a soundbite here. Is there something you could tell the parent? Here's what you need to do. Sit your kid down and say say these things to him or her to get them on the right path tonight. 

37:48 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
I would say there's not. It's less the things that you could say, but it's the questions that you can ask. 

37:55 - Mark (Host)
What are some of the best questions to ask your kid? 

37:58 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
so you might, if they haven't been through any of this kind of stuff, might ask them to do their I am statement. It's like, how do you finish the, how do you finish I am? And they'll kind of be like, well, you know, like I'm, I'm cool or I'm great, or they might give you that honest answer. That might be for some of them they're right, the, the, I'm stupid, you know fat or ugly, kind of thing. And then you would ask them okay, well, what makes you think that? Right, so you can start to get to where did that thought process come from? And then from there, because it's not something that's going to happen Like you ask them that question also, like oh, I'm awesome, kind of thing. It doesn't quite work that way, but it's really more about asking questions, because the things that we come up with on our own or at least we think we do are way more impactful to us than the things that people tell us my daughter and I were just talking about this. 

38:55 - Stacey (Host)
She's 24. And she's like I don't even know who I am. So I mean that would be a perfect time for me to be like okay, let's talk about who you are. You know I am, you know I am statement. But I know it wouldn't be something super positive. How do you bridge that gap from like I am gross fat ugly to I am a genius? 

39:11 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
Well, that's really because they were the that whole thing about creating your character, right? 

39:16
Because it's in. 

39:19
One of the things I, in fact I used to suffer from myself and I was teaching how to overcome when I was doing my adult sales training is the what's called imposter syndrome, right? 

39:31
You know people's like if anybody really finds out that I don't know what the hell I'm doing, even though I'm always number one on the list, I'm always producing better than everybody else, I'm always getting promoted, but if they find out who I really am, you know they'll kick me out of here in no time kind of stuff, right? So if, once you can get to the point to where you a realize is that that what you're doing every day is who you are presently. So if you necessarily want to change for example, you're talking about being a non-smoker but if you were a smoker, if you wanted to become a non-smoker, you have to have that as part of your identity, but then you actually have to take the action on it and then not smoke, okay. So your daughter, if she still has those negative thoughts, get her to decide who do you want to be, because you can start being that person right now. 

40:24 - Stacey (Host)
I love that. Who do you want to be, Mark? 

40:28 - Stacey (Host)
did you ever? 

40:29 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
Have you ever heard of the band Oingo Boingo? 

40:31 - Stacey (Host)
Yes. 

40:32 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
Okay, One of my favorite songs is from them. It's like who do you want to be today? If you haven't heard it, I'd recommend looking it up. 

40:37 - Mark (Host)
We're gonna have to. We'll play that as a theme song. 

40:41 - Stacey (Host)
This is food for thought. I'm really enjoying this and it seems so simple, but I think it's hard to do. 

40:47 - Mark (Host)
Did you have any of this as a kid? I didn't. Did you have any of, did you? 

40:53 - Stacey (Host)
Yeah, I got my mouth washed out with soap one time because I told my mom I was ugly. 

40:59 - Stacey (Host)
I mean, I don't think it's the same thing, it's a different tactic. It's obviously not the same at all, but she did want me to be more positive All right. 

41:08 - Mark (Host)
Well, that's one way. 

41:09 - Stacey (Host)
I thought you were going to say you cursed, or something. 

41:12 - Stacey (Host)
I guess it's a kind of cursing right. I know she listens. 

41:20 - Mark (Host)
So was mom. I know she listens. So was there anything like this in your childhood, or I mean, there wasn't in mind like is it just a recent phenomenon. 

41:25 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
I think so. It's over in my childhood. 

41:28
Probably the beginning of it was the uh, the est movement that started on california back then, but then again that was still more, for that was for, like, the hippies, you know what I mean. So a lot of their kids probably got a filtered down version of it, but there wasn't anything that was more mainstream. And then what it kind of morphed into was the, you know, the trying to figure out how to phrase this without sounding too harsh. You know that you can't fail. You know everybody's great, etc. You know, and everybody can be great, but they aren't necessarily. Right now, okay, to where you know, there's no, we stopped degrading and all that kind of stuff. Everybody is still the same and, like I said, the kids, the kids know the difference. 

42:19 - Stacey (Host)
They're not dummies. 

42:19 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
They get it Exactly. 

42:21 - Stacey (Host)
I have one more question that I think we have to kind of close up. But I I read in my research about you that you teach about stop seeking everyone else's approval and you know how do we stop the people pleasers, the people pleasing parts of ourselves and just really focus on becoming a better human being. 

42:40 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
So I would say maybe it's hard for people to not be people-pleasers but decide better on who you want to please. So I don't care what necessarily the whole world thinks about me. Okay, so like I don't care what necessarily the whole world thinks about me, but there are people who I do care what they think about me and what I'm doing, etc. And it means a lot to me and if I were to do something that would harm that person or that relationship, it would harm or hurt me probably more. So it's once again it's human nature to want the best for the people around us. I'm trying to make the best for as many people as I possibly can, but I know I'm not going to be everybody's flavor. 

43:24 - Stacey (Host)
And you don't seek approval no. Even from those people that probably from the people that you love or people that you don't want to upset, you probably do seek some approval Because they matter upset. You probably do seek some fruit, because they matter. 

43:38 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
One of the tenets of psychology is that we all like our certainty, right? It's the reason why a kid likes to watch the same movie 20, 30 times and doesn't get tired of it is because that's where they get. I know that every time Nemo swims up to that boat guys with the little Ziploc baggie, he takes them away. Right, you want to see a kid freak out? Have an alternate ending to that? Right, where Nemo doesn't get caught and he swims away. Kids are going to be like what. 

44:06
So you know, and people get their certainty, whether it could be internally or it could be externally. So, like I know that mine is often external, like I came up with, I Am For Kids. I thought it was an amazing idea. But I went to some psychologists, some teachers. I was like, hey, I had this idea, what do you think? And had they shot it down, I probably would have been a little bit less familiar. Oh, this is awesome. So that kept me going on that. But so, yeah, just choose the people that you want to please and choose them wisely. 

44:40 - Mark (Host)
Simple Dynamite. I love it. 

44:42 - Stacey (Host)
What else is there that you want to say that maybe we haven't covered today to our audience? 

44:47 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
If it's adults that are watching. Embrace the kid in you. There's, in my opinion, there's three traits that we were born with as kids that if we just kept them going throughout the rest of our lives, we'd be A so much happier now and B be probably much farther ahead. So the number one is persistence. Okay, kids are just naturally persistent. They never give up. When was the last time you saw a kid quit trying to walk right? They just don't. They fall down, wipe themselves off and they get back up and they go again. 

45:19
The second one is curiosity. Kids are so curious, they're always wanting to know, and I believe that when a person loses curiosity, that the horizons of their world fold up and become the walls of their box. And the third one is ingenuity. One is ingenuity Kind of staying on that box theme is there's a reason why kids would rather often play with the box that a gift came in than the gift that came with the box or in the box, because usually that gift does whatever it does. But the box can be depending on the size it could be a house, it could be a boat, it could be a rocket ship, you could cut it up and make it into shields and all these different types of things, and that's because they haven't created that box in their mind to think out of. They just go wherever their creativity takes them, and if people just applied that in their life and in their business, I guarantee you that they both would be farther ahead than where they are now. 

46:14 - Mark (Host)
That's good advice. 

46:15 - Stacey (Host)
Mic drop. 

46:18 - Mark (Host)
That's good advice. Mic drop, that's good advice. Right Awesome, where can people reach you? 

46:21 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
How can they get in contact with you? They can go to Iam4kidscom. I am the number four kidscom and that's where we have everything about our programs that you can. People can sign up for the school program. You can find my book, all that kind of stuff. We're also, within the next day or two, going to have. 

46:36
We are actually raising equity so people can invest in our new company and we're doing that through a. It's not actually crowdfunding, but it's similar to that platform and we'll have that up on there as well. So you can actually have a piece of I Am For Kids at the bottom level or not the bottom level, the ground floor, I should say level or not the bottom level of the ground floor, I should say. And they can. Also, if you want to have me come and speak at an event or at a school, you can go to the be great guy comm. So that's the be great guy comm, and that's where you can. 

47:07
So you can book me, get my see, my sizzle reel, my speaker sheet, etc. So you know, kind of, leave you with. This is on that note of the, the venture capital that we're looking to raise from our community, is that? Imagine if you had invested in the muppets when they were first created. There's a similar opportunity in front of you right now. So, to quote the, the hit song is are you going to capture it or just let it slip? 

47:34 - Stacey (Host)
it's microsoft in the garage. Baby, there it is thank you. 

47:38 - Mark Papadas (Guest)
Mark, I appreciate it. 

47:38 - Stacey (Host)
Amazing, mark, what a great good conversation great idea so much information for our audience. I really appreciate you. 

47:43 - Mark (Host)
Thank you, yeah, and you're doing great work yeah, thanks for coming on, keep it up, thank you guys for watching you're still here. 

47:55 - Stacey (Host)
You're still listening. Thanks for listening to the Gurus and Game Changers podcast While you're here. If you enjoyed it, please take a minute to rate this episode and leave us a quick review. 

48:05 - Stacey (Host)
We want to know what you thought of the show and what you took from it and how it might have helped you. We read and appreciate every comment. Thanks, see you next week.